In many cities, old buildings are being destroyed to create more space for new housing. What is your opinion

Governments are destroying old
buildings
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to clear up space for constructing
houses
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in several cities. In my opinion, old
buildings
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must
be demolishes
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be demolished
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For
establishment
Add an article
the establishment
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of new housing because of land scarcity in urban areas and
lesser
Correct article usage
the lesser
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availability of amenities in them. The primary reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
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of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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ancient
buildings
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is that land is
scared
Correct word choice
scarce
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in big cities
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
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which it becomes necessary to knock down them. The shortage of housing is being faced because of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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explosion in the present times. Eventually, the metro cities
are
Verb problem
will
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becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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incompatible
to grow
Verb problem
apply
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with the rising population. Clearance of old-times
buildings
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ensures adequate space to build new
houses
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for the dwellers of urbanised places. To fortify
further
Linking Words
,
well-planned
Correct article usage
the well-planned
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restructuring of towns by demolishing classical infrastructure enables the construction of modernistic
buildings
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for accommodation.
Likewise
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, high-rise
buildings
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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were in a queue for less area, but numerous people
will be
Wrong verb form
were
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able to reside there.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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, the lack of amenities in old
buildings
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,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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them abundant and useless.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, modern
houses
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and equipped with all the requirements
such
Linking Words
as speedy elevators, chimney
system
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systems
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, cooling and heating
system
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systems
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etc which
facilitates
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitate
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residents
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residents'
resident's
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easier lifestyle. Advanced
houses
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are constructed with technological devices in order to survive. The
challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge
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of natural climate is ensuring the safety of individuals living there
whereas
Linking Words
in old
buildings
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, chances of survival during earthquakes and floods are mitigated
due to
Linking Words
poor infrastructure. In conclusion, from my perspective,
demolition
Correct article usage
the demolition
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of old
buildings
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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space for constructing new
houses
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and
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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vicinity is available in them
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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them
in
Change preposition
apply
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habitable.

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Use more examples to support your ideas. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
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You have a clear opinion on the topic. This is a good start for your essay.
task achievement
You provided reasons for your opinion. This shows good thinking about the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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