IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Parenting is a
substanial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 responsibility and people learn a lot
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their own experiences as all children are very different from each other
as a result
Linking Words
, distinctive approaches will be
adapted
Correct your spelling
adopted
show examples
 by guardians. I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
 with the statement because at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young
age
Add a comma
age,
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 it is very arduous to understand
this
Linking Words
 massive responsibility . To commence with ,youngsters are occupied with their egregious
acedemic
Correct your spelling
academic
 studies and some of them opt for
extra-curriculum
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
 activities
such
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 as sports and art which will make them
skillful
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skilful
show examples
 and talented
as a result
Linking Words
, they can avail enormous opportunities in their future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, schools should not put them in
such
Linking Words
 a convoluted situation where they may
experienced
Change the verb form
experience
show examples
 any burden like how to become
a good parents
Correct the article-noun agreement
good parents
a good parent
show examples
 because they are
so
Rephrase
too
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 naive and benevolent to understand these tips and tricks simultaneously, they have to focus on their studies and sports without any stress .
For instance
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, those adolescents
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoy
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 their childhood will perform better in their latter years .
Thus
Linking Words
 ,all the educational institutes let them teach only in their
acedemic
Correct your spelling
academic
 field rest they will come to know in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future . There are plenty
skills
Change preposition
of skills
show examples
 a person should have to be a better parent. First and foremost, patience is the key to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 successful guardians which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 them to listen to their kids
as a result
Linking Words
, they can solve
concussion
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concussions
show examples
 and provide them
happy
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with happy
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 and ecstatic
life
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lives
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they should be capable
to provide
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of providing
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 them
better
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with better
show examples
 education and
Correct article usage
a magnificient
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magnificient
Correct your spelling
magnificent
 lifestyle so, it will
increment
Verb problem
increase
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 their physical
amd
Correct your spelling
and
 mental health.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, they are responsible
to teach
Change preposition
for teaching
show examples
 them social and moral ethics which allow them to become a better version of themselves and they can serve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society with their witty thoughts and sensible actions because it is a fundamental
needs
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need
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society.
To conclude
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, learning advanced things at
young
Add an article
a young
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 age is not mandatory
however
Linking Words
, in
Correct article usage
the furture
show examples
Correct your spelling
future
furture
Add a comma
furture,
show examples
 they will have different opinions regarding parenting but , when they are ready to become parents
then
Linking Words
 they should have certain skills in order to provide a majestic life to their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly present your main ideas in each paragraph. Each paragraph should focus on one main point.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points and make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to simplify your sentences to make them clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes, as they can distract from your message.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and your main ideas are relevant to the question.
task achievement
You provided some important points about the skills needed to be a good parent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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