IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A friend has told you that he or she feels lonely in their new city away from their family. Write a letter to your friend, and -Explain why people can feel this way -Give some ideas on how to solve the problem - Ask your friend to contact you and tell you if this works

Dear Sam , I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in excellent health and great spirits. I received your letter yesterday and I came to know that you are feeling lonely in the city of Agra where you moved
last
Linking Words
 month for your new job. There are enormous reasons why people feel isolated
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 new places . The main reason is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of friends
due to
Linking Words
 which they cannot express their feelings
as a result
Linking Words
 they become depressed .
Secondly
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, new job responsibilities make it worse because they have to handle different tasks effectively and efficiently just to make sure he or she is the perfect person for
this
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 work in order to impress their employer. In my opinion, you should join a club which will allow you to make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new friends and you can enjoy with them. You can get a membership
of
Change preposition
in
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 any gym to make yourself healthy and fit , which will help you to get rid of
this
Linking Words
 concussion.
Moreover
Linking Words
, please go for
evening
Correct article usage
an evening
show examples
 stroll which is a good opportunity for socializing. I hope you will like all the suggestions and it will work for you . Please do not forget to write
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
back and you can contact me any time as I am available 24 hours for you .I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours lovely Harvi

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coherence and cohesion
Try to separate your ideas clearer in different paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea to improve flow.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly ask questions or suggest more specific activities for better response.
positive
You have shown a nice personal touch in your writing, which is great for a letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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