Some people think that the most successful people are those who earn a lot of money, while others believe that scientists are the most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that those who earn a lot of money are the most successful, as their wealth allows them to afford a wide range of prosperous lifestyles.

However

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, I agree with those who argue that scientists are more successful, as the impact they make is long-lasting and significantly contributes to global knowledge. On the one hand, some argue that certain professions,

such

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as being a young celebrity, are some of the most successful jobs, as they offer high income to be able to afford a wealthy prosperous life. Advocates of

this

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view claim that those people often enjoy a glamorous lifestyle and generate wealth at an early age, compared to others in the same age group who may still be working

Change preposition

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lower management levels in the office.

For example

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, an Indonesian famous artist, Nikita Willy, reportedly purchased a private jet, travelled to numerous countries, and became part of an exclusive and elite club,

which

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in which

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the members are typically CEOs of multinational companies and political persons.

On the other hand

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, I side with those who concur that

population

Correct article usage

the population

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working in the science field,

such

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as artificial intelligence scientists, is exceptionally successful, as they bring a long-lasting concussion. Their contributions lead to the advancement of technology, and in the long run, influence how the world functions.

As a result

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, it benefits not only the present generation but

also

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future ones.

For instance

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, in 2024, scientists who developed Chat GPT artificial intelligence helped transform the way internet users access information, automate daily tasks, and improve productivity across various industries. In conclusion,

although

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high income is often seen as a sign of job success due

the

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to the

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exclusive lifestyle it affords, I believe that successful jobs,

such

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as scientist, are defined by the scale and significance of their concussion especially when that bounce benefits a wide range of community over the long period.

elsabefrin

Jun 28, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects back to your opinion. Try to group related ideas together to improve flow.

task achievement

In your conclusion, make your opinion more direct and clearer by summarizing your main points in a straightforward way.

coherence and cohesion

Use simpler sentences to improve clarity. Avoid complex phrases that might confuse readers.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives before stating your own opinion, which is good for structure.

task achievement

You gave specific examples to support your points, which helps make your argument stronger.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Some people think that the most successful people are those who earn a lot of money, while others believe that scientists are the most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think is an appropriate use of government money?

Some people say that E-books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. What are the causes? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this developement has more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.