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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an aparment?

This
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 essay argues that few individuals prefer to live in a
house
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 and other people assume that living in an
apartment
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 is more beneficial than living in a
house
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. I believe that living in a
house
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 is more beneficial because have more
privacy
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 than an
apartment
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. On the one hand, some individuals assume that living in an
apartment
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 is more beneficial than living in a
house
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. Because have many options some apartments have gyms, pools, and community rooms. But in the same way, have less
privacy
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 because you are close to
neighbours
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 and share a common area.
Also
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, usually smaller, with limited space and fewer rooms.
For example
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, in the US, there is 60% of individuals have issues with their
neighbours
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, like noise loud music or children playing video games, making it hard to relax or sleep. I believe that it has more drawbacks than benefits.
On the other hand
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, other people prefer to live in a
house
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 because have more
privacy
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, as there are no shared walls.
Also
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, you have your own garden and pool. There is no noise from
neighbours
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, you have all the responsibilities in your
house
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.
For example
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. In Saudi Arabia, people who live in their own houses feel more comfortable than they live in an
apartment
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. I believe that its benefits are more than the drawbacks because when you have your own
house
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 you can control all the things rather than live in an
apartment
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 . In conclusion, there are many disadvantages when you
living
Wrong verb form
live
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 in an
apartment
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, but when you live in your own
house
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 you feel comfortable and there is no noise from
neighbours
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. And I prefer to live in a
house
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 because have more
privacy
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to structure your introduction clearly and state your opinion more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples and details to support your ideas, and also stay focused on the question.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar in your writing for better clarity and flow.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic and support it throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • residential preferences
  • property ownership
  • private dwelling
  • shared facilities
  • urban vs suburban living
  • customization
  • sustainability
  • appreciation of property value
  • real estate market
  • housing tenure
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