IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The traditional idea of working for the same company for life in one particular pace is changing. Today people work for different companies, in different jobs and different ways. Unfortunately, this also leads to job in security and uncertainty about the future. Do you agree or disagree?

It is seen that
people
Use synonyms
, these days,
work
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 for various employees, in different fields and various ways,
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 of their changing attitudes of working for the same
emplyers
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employers
 for their
life time
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lifetime
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. I feel that
this
Linking Words
 trend can lead to financial difficulties and
employees performances
Fix the agreement mistake
employee performance
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.
To begin
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 with, changing jobs could lead to uncertainty and economic
unstability
Correct your spelling
instability
. In some cases, it is far harder for
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 to manage a better job, particularly in developing countries like India. If
people
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 want to gain
experiences
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experience
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, they should try in their current occupations, because it is seen that
people
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 are more comfortable and engaged within their areas.
That is
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 why job holders should not change their working
feilds
Correct your spelling
fields
 and should stay with the same company to avoid their financial difficulties.
Linking Words
Additionally-and
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Additionally
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 Definitely- there is
Correct article usage
an impacts
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impacts
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impact
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 on employers’ performances if they change jobs so frequently. Some employees reported significantly more cope-up problems during the first few
week
Change to a plural noun
weeks
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 of joining new
work
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 fields including depression. It is
also
Linking Words
noticable
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noticeable
 that workers who moved to different
work
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 fields had less productivity , had the most trouble learning new lessons, and had the most problems paying attention to their responsibilities.
As a result
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, companies prioritise those who stay with them for
long
Change the article
a long
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 time with different incentives
such
Linking Words
 as annual leaves, paternal, maternal, and sick leaves.
For instance
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, a finding by a Bangladeshi university says that joining new jobs after a certain period
lower
Replace the word
lowers
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workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
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productivities
Fix the agreement mistake
productivity
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. So, I strongly
beleive
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believe
 that
people
Use synonyms
 should stay with
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 companies for their own
benefits
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benefit
show examples
. In conclusion, it can be summarized that
due to
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 the potential poor
performnaces
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performance
 at
work
Use synonyms
, and financial
unstabilities
Correct your spelling
instabilities
, my opinion is that individuals should
work
Use synonyms
 under the same owners as long as it is possible, even
untill
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until
 their
retirements
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retirement
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.

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task achievement
Make sure your main idea is clear in the introduction. It should clearly state your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your ideas. This will help make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar carefully. Mistakes can make it hard to understand your ideas.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is important.
task achievement
You provide some relevant examples to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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