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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts
is illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the proportion of the community ages in two countries which are:
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy in 2000 and
prediction
Correct article usage
the prediction
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 of the
2050year
Correct your spelling
2050 year
. The categories
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 into three: 0-14 years which are
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
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, 15 - 59 years for
adults
Use synonyms
 and more than 60 years for older
people
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the
Fix the agreement mistake
beginning
show examples
beginnings
Add a comma
beginnings,
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 the
adults
Use synonyms
 were started as more than
half
Use synonyms
 or
half
Use synonyms
 of the community in both
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy,
while
Linking Words
 older
people
Use synonyms
quarter
Add a missing verb
were quarter
show examples
 or
or
Remove the redundancy
apply
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less.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood is
half
Use synonyms
 or less than
half
Use synonyms
.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the end of the period, the statistics of
adults
Use synonyms
 predicted to
declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
 in Italy,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, increasing in
Yemen
Use synonyms
. In 2000, the pie charts of
Yemen
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 three, 50.1% for children and only 3.6 for older
people
Use synonyms
 .
In contrast
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Italy showed
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 percentage of
adults
Use synonyms
 which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 57.3% in 2000. The percentage of late
people
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
 spike by 36.6 percent points in 2050.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, adults, people, half with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population distribution
  • age group
  • population pyramid
  • projections
  • young population
  • aging population
  • demographic shift
  • increase in elderly population
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • population dynamics
  • top-heavy
  • balanced age distribution
  • healthcare needs
  • pension provision
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