IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that more money should be spent on
railways
Use synonyms
 than roads by governments. I vehemently agree
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
railway's
Correct article usage
the railway's
show examples
 safety and its larger capability for
transportation
Use synonyms
. One of the main reasons why it is better to invest more in
railway
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 is their high safety record. Nowadays, the majority of
trains
Use synonyms
 use special electronic devices in order to be controlled in dangerous situations and cover human's possible errors.
For example
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are fast
trains
Use synonyms
 all over the world, their speed is adjusted automatically
according to
Linking Words
 various factors including the area that they
passing
Wrong verb form
pass
show examples
 through.
However
Linking Words
, these advantages are not available in cars. Each year,
due to
Linking Words
 drivers' errors thousands of people die in car accidents, something that rarely happens in
railway
Use synonyms
transportation
Use synonyms
. Another reason is
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the railways
show examples
railways
Change noun form
railways'
railway's
show examples
 incredible potential for
transportation
Use synonyms
. Most of the
trains
Use synonyms
 can move both passengers and cargo at the same time in different wagons, something that makes them a unique and cost-effective way of
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with more
railways
Use synonyms
 available, not only people can benefit from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cheap and easy travel, but
also
Linking Words
 the goods will be transported more
frequent
Change the word
frequently
show examples
 and in higher quantities, which may lead to lower prices and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
higher availability. These days,
trains
Use synonyms
 are made in multi-store wagons, which makes them even more
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
transportation
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, many suggest that governments should invest more money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 system than
roads
Change preposition
in roads
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is a good idea
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the railways
show examples
railways
Change noun form
railways'
railway's
show examples
 high safety record
as well as
Linking Words
 their enormous potential for
transportation
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words for better flow between ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
You provide good reasons to support your view on railways.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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