IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to sped their lifes doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that changes is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In
this
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 day
people
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 easily
change
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 their behaviour, and it brings both excitement and stress.
However
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,
people
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 react differently to
change
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,
while
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 some
people
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 ignore it.
This
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 essay examines both views and argues that
change
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 is predominantly positive. Some
people
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 believe that they need to focus on one thing only and become experts at what they do. With long experience in one thing a person can be professional in that major, and
this
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 brings them self-confidence.
Similarly
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, staying in the same area for a long period can create very good relationships with the community and neighbours around, in the end, they can build family connections and help each other. On the other view, few
people
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also
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 think that they have to keep moving,
try
Correct word choice
and try
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 to learn new skills as
many
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apply
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as they are able to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
. Taking a new opportunity to get another experience in
life
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.
Furthermore
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, changes the society
also
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 help meet new friends and they can share knowledge and
life
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. Having as many
people
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 as friends
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 good
on the other hand
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. In my view, adaptation is a must. We need to know that in
this
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life
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 we have to try to be suitable in every single condition. Making a
change
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 in our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
also
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 gives us good benefits to survive. Certainly, there is a value in doing the same thing and becoming an expert, and
also
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 a good merit for adaptation and stable the environment.
However
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, doing the same thing day by day could be incredibly boring. In conclusion, it is important to move and suitable our condition to the surroundings. Alternatively, we should not forget the experience and the value from the past that we would need for the future.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are well connected. Use clear linking words to help guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Try to give more detailed examples to explain your points better. This will help your reader understand your views.
structure
Ensure that your introduction clearly states both views, and your conclusion summarizes your opinion effectively.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion throughout your essay which is important for the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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