IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Acros

There is a higher amount of
gun
Use synonyms
 firing going on in some nations
due to
Linking Words
 owning a
gun
Use synonyms
 in the house, and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because keeping a
gun
Use synonyms
 at home can be easily accessible for everyone and it may lead to accidental or intentional.
Firstly
Linking Words
, owning a
gun
Use synonyms
 at home can create violent behaviour, even in small arguments or
angerness
Correct your spelling
anger
,
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 compel the person to use a
gun
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 we get to hear many news about shootings in schools or at home by normal persons, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because of
easy
Correct article usage
the easy
show examples
acess
Correct your spelling
access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 guns. Another reason can be,
some
Correct word choice
that some
show examples
 people don't take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
 seriously and keep
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in a place where kids or vulnerable people can reach
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to unfortunate
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
.
for example
Linking Words
, in many
places
Add a comma
places,
show examples
 we hear that some kids
accidently
Correct your spelling
accidentally
 use a
gun
Use synonyms
 as they think
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a toy. So personally
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe the strong rules regarding owning a
gun
Use synonyms
 can help to
contol
Correct your spelling
control
 these problems
however
Linking Words
, some individuals argue by saying that keeping
Use synonyms
gun
Correct article usage
a gun
show examples
 can make them feel safe and can use it for
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 safety.

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task achievement
Try to improve the clarity of your arguments. Make sure each point is clearly stated and supported with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas better. This will help your essay flow more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors. This will improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic and express your opinion well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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