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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting place where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antartic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Nowadays, many
people
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 visit places that have challenging conditions.
This
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 can have some advantages,
such
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 as the entertainment of tourists and the improvement of their
skills
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, but it
also
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 has some drawbacks because it can be dangerous and might divert the efforts of
emergency
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 services from other important cases. One of the reasons why
this
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 phenomenon can be negative is that it can be dangerous. These areas tend to not suit all
individuals
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, especially when these
individuals
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 are not well-equipped with tools and
skills
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.
That is
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 because if tourists face a threatening event, they will not be able to deal with it properly.
As a result
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, fatal and detrimental outcomes will occur. Another downside of the increasing number of visitors to
such
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 areas is the increased burden on
emergency
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 services.
That is
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 because an increasing number of
people
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 would seek medical help, which might cause medical staff to lose focus.
For example
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, in the Sahara desert, ambulances are called frequently by tourists, and that has impacted the
emergency
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 system since it is not well developed.
However
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,
this
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 development has many benefits including the happiness it provides for
people
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. Since
individuals
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 these days experience long-term stress, they would enjoy exploring different and new areas, which can help them relax and avoid work-related
burn out
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burnout
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. Another positive impact is the development of
skills
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. When
people
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 are thrown into unsafe situations, they will be motivated to learn the
skills
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 that can help them handle these struggles.
for instance
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,
people
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 who climb mountains frequently
,
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apply
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became
Wrong verb form
become
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 professional at it
due to
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 the time they spend in
mountains
Correct article usage
the mountains
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 trying to enhance their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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. In conclusion, there is a
raising
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rising
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 number of
individuals
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 who are visiting
challanging
Correct your spelling
challenging
 places.
While
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this
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 has some positives like the joy and
skills
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 it provides
people
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 with, it
also
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 has a few downsides, including that it is dangerous and that it can distract
emergency
Use synonyms
 services.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples throughout the essay to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure you have a clear connection between sentences and paragraphs to improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing some sentences for better clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages well.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Variety in sentence structure adds interest to the writing.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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