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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, some people advocate the idea that students should only concentrate on what they are passionate about
while
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 others argue that children should learn comprehensively all
subjects
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 in their curriculum. From my perspective, both viewpoints have their merits but I am convinced by the latter idea for some reasons. On the one hand, being able to focus on their favourite
subjects
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 helps teenagers to save time to invest in their chosen fields and form their future path at an early stage. Specifically,
instead
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 of putting a great effort into achieving excellent grades in areas that are not their strengths, learners are able to concentrate on broadening their horizons in what suits their ability the most.
In addition
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, young people are more likely to have motivation and engagement when absorbing their favourite sectors, which helps to reduce the feeling of being bored or distracted. In fact, at current times, there are many specialized schools that have trained multiple qualified generations that excel in their chosen paths.
On the other hand
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, studying all
subjects
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 equally
also
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 has its merits.
Firstly
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, the school curriculum is designed to help youngsters develop a well-rounded knowledge base. These are the foundation of understanding and skills that anyone will need during their future life.
Moreover
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, teenagers paying attention to multiple fields are able to gain exposure to various perspectives.
As a result
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, they can discover their hidden talents or interests and prepare for diverse career options.
This
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 is extremely crucial for young people who are still unclear about their abilities and have not identified their strengths or passions yet. To illustrate, a majority of individuals who skip secondary
subjects
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 end up spending time relearning the fundamentals as they choose these areas at university or work in the related domains
at the end
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. In conclusion,
although
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 it is beneficial to narrow academic scope, I still hold a strong belief that teenagers should engage in a balanced curriculum as it ensures they are well-prepared for various life and career challenges.

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task achievement
Try to give a clear example for each main point you make. This will help support your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea. This will help your essay flow better.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well and balance them in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your opinion, which helps the reader understand your view.
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