IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 of
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
government
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 from a total budget of AED 315
billion
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 in 2000. The money was distributed
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 10 main sectors in the country.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
government
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 spent most of the budget on social security.
In addition
Linking Words
,
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on transportation was the least. Social security was the main concern for the
government
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 to look after, which received AED 100
billion
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 followed by health and personal social services which accounted for AED 53
billion
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.
Expenditure
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 for education received
moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
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 amount which was
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
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from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social security.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 has less priority towards transportation, which received the least budget in 2000 which was AED 9 million only.
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Expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
Expenditures
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 for law and order, industry agriculture and employment, defence, housing and
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and other
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expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
 were almost similar and accounted for ranging from AED 13-23
billion
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, government, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • government
  • spending
  • billions
  • social development
  • infrastructure
  • defense
  • security
  • healthcare
  • education
  • investment
  • citizen
  • focus
  • priority
  • sector
  • emphasis
  • facilities
  • transport
  • well-being
  • future
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