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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.
The diagram illustrates the process of instant
noodles
Use synonyms
 manufacturing. In the first
stage
Use synonyms
 of processing, the flour is transported by trucks from storage silos to the industry,
then
Linking Words
 is added with water and oil into a mixer
on
Change preposition
at
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 the
initial end
Check wording
beginning
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 of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 processing line. When fully mixed, the raw material is flattened into long dough sheets through the rollers below the mixer. The dough sheets are cut into
dough
Check wording
apply
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strips before
compressed
Verb problem
being compressed
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 into
Use synonyms
noodles
Fix the agreement mistake
noodle
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 discs. In the next
stage
Use synonyms
, vegetables and spices are added into the cups after the
noodles
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 discs we get are cooked in an oil tank in the
semblly
Correct your spelling
seminary
 line and dried. The
last
Linking Words
 step is sealing those cups filled with
noodles
Use synonyms
 and labelling them with commercial labels. After experiencing shaping the raw material into
Use synonyms
noodles
Fix the agreement mistake
noodle
show examples
 discs in the first
stage
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 and getting the whole wrapped in the second manufacturing
stage
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 ,we get the final products of delicious instant food that can be sold in the
supermakets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words noodles, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • mixing ingredients
  • dough preparation
  • sheeting
  • steaming
  • cutting techniques
  • dehydration
  • deep-frying
  • cooling system
  • packaging
  • quality control
  • production line
  • mass production
  • food preservation
  • convenience food
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