IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Nowadays, numerous tourists are often visiting locations which are challenging to live like the Sahara Desert and the Antarctic. There are some benefits like tourism
brings
Wrong verb form
bringing
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much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
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 income to remote
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 or local
people
Use synonyms
 and exploring
such
Linking Words
 harsh-conditioned
places
Use synonyms
. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as basic, limited amenities availability and less comfort and the environment becomes polluted. On the one hand, on
an
Correct article usage
apply
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average, 70% of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to visit hard-conditioned
places
Use synonyms
.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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 visitors
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
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 income to remote locations and
leads to
Verb problem
apply
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generate more money
in
Change preposition
for
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 local
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
loves
Change the verb form
love
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 traveling
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
 all over the world and explore new opportunities to live, and enjoy. So, these
places
Use synonyms
 are best to gravitate
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, one newspaper has published
90
Correct word choice
that 90
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% of
explorer
Fix the agreement mistake
explorers
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 are always in search of unrevealed and unknown
places
Use synonyms
 in the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
 visit
such
Linking Words
 uncommon
places
Use synonyms
, despite knowing there are basic and limited resources to survive
along with
Linking Words
 less
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comfort
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the environment gets affected badly by increasing the number of tourists on a daily basis which will lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in debris and
dusts
Change the wording
dust
specks of dust
clouds of dust
bags of dust
show examples
. There are no
such
Linking Words
 cleaning
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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going to
conduct
Wrong verb form
be conducted
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the researchers have revealed that 95% of visitors are responsible for losing
attractiveness
Correct article usage
the attractiveness
show examples
 of beautiful and unknown locations in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
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 to local
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, visiting
such
Linking Words
 rare and hard
places
Use synonyms
are having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 both the advantages
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
revenue
as well as
Linking Words
 tourists and the disadvantages
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 leading to
polluted
Correct article usage
a polluted
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment and harsh-conditioned to live

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task response
The introduction could be clearer. Try stating both benefits and disadvantages more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will help with understanding.
task response
Add more specific examples. This will support your ideas better and make them clearer.
task response
You have clearly identified both benefits and disadvantages of tourism in tough places.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
What to do next:
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