Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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manufactured food and drink products
are with
Verb problem
contain
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excessive sugar, which could lead to serious
health
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issues, thereby higher
price
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prices
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should be set in order to discourage consumption. From my perspective, I fully endorse
with
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apply
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this
Linking Words
approach.
To begin
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with, one of the main reasons why I agree is that excessive sugar injection will cause severe
health
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problems
such
Linking Words
as diabetes or obesity so high barriers for sugary product consumption could avoid deterioration of individual’s healthcare.
This
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is because sugary food is
seem
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seen
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as a demerit good,
which
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and
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they only notice the present satisfaction but ignore the long-term negative consequences. If the price set by suppliers
have
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has
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increased,
less
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fewer
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people are willing to purchase them and may switch to other healthier substitute foods.
As a result
Linking Words
, expensive sugary
product
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products
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may help reduce the amount of purchase and could prevent
health
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issues.
However
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, if people are not aware of the drawbacks of consuming sugary beverages and foods,
this
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may lead to a national budget deficit or financial pressure on governance in terms of welfare
payment
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payments
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and healthcare subsidies. Since severe illness
is contribute
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contributes
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to the overconsumption of sugary
product
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products
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, firms will experience increasing absences of
employee
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employees
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.
Therefore
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,
government
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the government
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may need to spend more on
healthcare
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the healthcare
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sector of society.
Moreover
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, a high unemployment rate caused by sickness results in increased government spending on social welfare payments, which reduces opportunities to invest in other profitable projects. To avoid
this
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, the most effective way will be imposing high prices for sugar-high products. In conclusion, I firmly advocate that setting high
price
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prices
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for high-sugar products is necessary and beneficial for safeguarding both social and personal
health
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. I believe that
with
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apply
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such
Linking Words
implementation of pricing will efficiently reduce
the
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apply
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consumption and eventually help achieve a healthy and prosperous society.

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are clearly developed with examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas within paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between sentences and ideas to guide the reader.
positive
Your introduction clearly states your opinion.
positive
You provided good reasons for your viewpoint.
positive
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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