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Writing Samples
Band 4

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this fact

Most of the countries in the world use
tourism
Use synonyms
 as a main
source
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 of cash. Sadly
tourism
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 could
also
Linking Words
 be
Use synonyms
source
Add an article
a source
the source
show examples
 of issues.  In general, it's a good thing for the
country
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's income to have many visitors. They could make money from it and have the
country
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's culture shared with other people from all over the world.
however
Linking Words
, the problem is if the
country
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 does not have any other
source
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 of income except
tourism
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. Because the situation is not always stable. At any minute a war could start, a new disease could be spread, and the flight companies may have issues with the planes and stuff.
Therefore
Linking Words
 the
country
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 should not focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
only things and rely fully on them. They should work on other stuff
such
Linking Words
 as factors, oil, gas, and other industries things. In conclusion,
tourism
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 is a very strong
source
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 of income if it is managed properly,
in addition
Linking Words
 to other industrial things

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task achievement
Make sure to state your main idea clearly in the introduction and support it well in your body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to connect your ideas and make your writing easier to follow.
task achievement
Expand on your points with specific examples to strengthen your argument and provide more detail.
content
You presented a clear main idea about the relationship between tourism and income.
content
Your essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic impact
  • local businesses
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • heritage preservation
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural dilution
  • cost of living
  • job instability
  • sustainable tourism
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