IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only For instance, and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that the
environment
Use synonyms
 is important and everyone
live
Change the form of the verb
living
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 planet needs to protect
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly held belief that the
government
Use synonyms
 and
companeies
Correct your spelling
companies
 are playing a big
rule
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 field and they make a real difference in the
environment
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the
government
Use synonyms
 can do a lot of things and let the large
companies
Use synonyms
 do what is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
best for the
environment
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
companies
Use synonyms
 have to
producing
Change the verb
produce
show examples
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycled
show examples
materils
Correct your spelling
materials
 to
use
Use synonyms
 it daily.
In other words
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 plastic bags and
straw
Fix the agreement mistake
straws
show examples
 that will harm
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals and
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, but if they
use
Use synonyms
 paper
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of plastic that will be better
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 the
companies
Use synonyms
 can recycle the paper and
use
Use synonyms
 it for a new
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, courses about what will happen if we continue bad
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 and do not save the
environment
Use synonyms
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
change some
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 in some
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is okay if they
use
Use synonyms
 the sea as garbage without thinking there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 fish
can't
Correct pronoun usage
that can't
show examples
 move because of them. Another point to consider,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 have to improve public transport. It is
also
Linking Words
possibleto
Correct your spelling
possible to
 say that when
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
tarin
Correct your spelling
train
show examples
 rather than cars,
this
Linking Words
 will save time and enhance air pollution.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from smoking in public places.
For instance
Linking Words
, if police prevent smoking in some areas like parks that will help to improve
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and the
environment
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
depspite
Correct your spelling
despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe that to save the planet and
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
should start
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and big
companies
Use synonyms
. They can do a lot of things and enhance the
environment
Use synonyms
 that
Individual
Fix the agreement mistake
Individuals
show examples
 can do. And like they
said
Add the punctuation
said,
show examples
 "One hand can not clap".

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to express your ideas clearly and fully. Each point should support your main argument clearly. Try to clarify your position on the topic more explicitly in your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs better so that each paragraph has a clear main idea. Use linking words to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. Improve your sentence structure to avoid errors and help the reader understand your points more easily.
task achievement
You have included examples to support your points, which is good. It shows your understanding of the topic and helps make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your points and restates your opinion well, which helps to provide closure to your essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: