In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying the fact that
instead
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of attending
university
Use synonyms
and
enrolliong
Correct your spelling
enrolling
in a work-based are crucial in the lives
for
Change preposition
of
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individuals.
while
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it is a commonly held belief that talks about advantages there is
also
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an argument that opposes that.
This
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essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, a person can acquire practical practice to benefit
such
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as
labour
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the labour
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market on the first day.
Furthermore
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, trainers should get a function
that is
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more rapid than
university
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graduation.
In other words
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, training was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
minimal amount of work.
whereas
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, universities depend on money.
For example
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, many countries need employees more than people who have
university
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degrees because it is experts.
On the other hand
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,
There
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there
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are many disadvantages,
such
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as a person's knowledge about deep things
likely
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like
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IT and practical jobs you can not enhance your expertise. It is
also
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possible to say that,
this
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works
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work
show examples
can not
sustainable
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be sustainable
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while
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studying likely
university
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.
Moreover
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, most companies do not
need
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need to
show examples
enrol
work
Change preposition
on work
show examples
but
average
Correct article usage
the average
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need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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academics.
In addition
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, salary is very detrimental to academics.
For instance
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, they can kick you out because you do not have a universal. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that you must study at
university
Use synonyms
and feel glad in the future.
Nonetheless
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, you need a good salary for your children. if you can merge both please do it but if you do not have money studies you can start enrol work.

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task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and some unclear ideas in your essay. Try to use simpler sentences to express your thoughts clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. This will help your essay flow better.
task achievement
Use clearly defined examples that tie directly to your main points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. Your conclusion should summarize your key points clearly.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which is good for analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion addresses the topic and provides a final opinion, which is important.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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