IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

These two plans depict the current layout of a university
sports
Use synonyms
 centre and its proposed redevelopment in the future.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the 25-metre swimming
pool
Use synonyms
, gym, and some core facilities remain, significant changes will introduce new amenities and transform external spaces, reducing outdoor
sports
Use synonyms
 areas. Currently, the
sports
Use synonyms
 centre is
centered
Use the right word
centred
show examples
 around a 25-metre swimming
pool
Use synonyms
. To the north of the
pool
Use synonyms
 lies a gym, with a changing
room
Use synonyms
 on the
west
Use synonyms
side
Use synonyms
 and a seating area to the east. Externally, outdoor courts are situated to the
west
Use synonyms
 and east of the main building, flanking the central structure. In the proposed redevelopment, substantial alterations are planned. On the
west
Use synonyms
side
Use synonyms
, the existing
west
Use synonyms
 outdoor courts will be replaced by a leisure
pool
Use synonyms
, adding a more relaxed aquatic option. Meanwhile, the east outdoor courts will be converted into a
sports
Use synonyms
 hall. To the east of
this
Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
 hall, two dance studios will be constructed for
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
. Along the southern
side
Use synonyms
 of the centre, new facilities will be introduced around the reception area. To the
west
Use synonyms
 of the reception, a
sports
Use synonyms
 shop and an additional changing
room
Use synonyms
 will be built,
while
Linking Words
 to the east, a café and another changing
room
Use synonyms
 will be added. Notably, the original changing
room
Use synonyms
 on the
west
Use synonyms
side
Use synonyms
 of the
pool
Use synonyms
 is retained, with the new changing rooms serving the leisure
pool
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
 hall respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Provide a brief summary or conclusion to reinforce the main points made in the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is clearly linked to the diagrams for a stronger understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between the current layout and planned changes for better flow.
task achievement
Clear identification of existing and proposed changes in the sports centre layout.
coherence and cohesion
Well-structured description of the layout with logical organization of details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: