IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

The plans illustrate the current layout of a university
sports
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and how it will be realigned in the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
sports
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 is scheduled to undergo a significant transformation in the next few years, with many of its traditional areas being replaced by more functional spaces, and the most remarkable change is the replacement of the outdoor areas with various indoor facilities. The pool and Reception will remain unchanged. The gate and the reception are located in the south. The 25m pool is in the centre of the indoor space, surrounded by the changing room on the west side and the seating area on the opposite side. Farm from the entrance, here’s the gym, situated at the very top side.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the outdoor areas are situated on both the west and east sides. Regarding the future plan, the outdoor grounds will be demolished and replaced by multi-purpose indoor facilities. A
sports
Use synonyms
 hall will be constructed adjacent to the seating area. Opposite the corridor, two dance studios are going to be put up at the northeast corner. A Leisure pool will take over the initial location of the west Outdoor courts. What’s more, the changing room will be added 2 more at the southwest and southeast corners. The Gym will be widened. A new
Sports
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 shop and Cafe will be established on both sides beside the changing room
closely
Rephrase
apply
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.

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task response
For task response: You gave the main changes and kept to the plan. But some parts are not fully clear, and a few details are missing or not exact. Try to compare more key parts in a direct way.
task response
For task response: Your overview is good because it tells the biggest change. To get a higher score, add a few more important changes in a clear and full way.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part structure, which is good. But some sentences are hard to follow because of word choice and grammar. Keep each sentence short and clear.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: You use basic link words like overall, by contrast, regarding, and what's more. This is good. But some links feel a bit forced. Use simple links and make sure each one fits the idea.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Group ideas by place or by change. For example, write one part for the present map and one part for the future map, with east, west, north, and south in order.
task response
You wrote a clear overview and showed the biggest change from outdoor space to indoor space.
task response
You included many key parts from both maps, such as the pool, gym, sports hall, dance studios, shop, and cafe.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is easy to see in paragraphs, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You used some link words to move from one part to the next.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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