IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. DIscuss both these views and give your opinion.

The people have diverse ideas
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how to be
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
, some of them
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
 the important thing is to be rich
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
having
Change preposition
of having
show examples
monay
Correct your spelling
money
 and assets. it is good but it is not important, like
docters
Correct your spelling
Doctors
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have money but not a lot of it, and they are
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
. so The
successicon
Correct your spelling
succession
depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on the goals
acticilly
Correct your spelling
tactically
, so if his goal
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 be rich he would
be needing
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
monay
Correct your spelling
money
, but if his goal
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 be a nurse he
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to study, or even if he
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to be in
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 shape.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some people
Correct pronoun usage
who thinks
show examples
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal happiness is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
Use synonyms
,
bucause
Correct your spelling
because
 they see the
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
success
Use synonyms
 is to be happy in life even if he
poor
Add a missing verb
is poor
show examples
. comparing
Linking Words
this ideas
Change the determiner
this idea
these ideas
show examples
 of
success
Use synonyms
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would say both are great
together with
Linking Words
 more meaning
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life the person will be
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
. determine your goals will set the
defintion
Correct your spelling
definition
 of
success
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear sentences and proper punctuation to express your ideas better.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points about success.
content
You present both views on success, which is good for the discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial success
  • Personal happiness
  • Intrinsic measure
  • Contentment
  • Fulfillment
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Harmonious life
  • Career achievements
  • Social recognition
  • Subjective nature
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