IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some expert believe that ia better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

Many scientists feel that teaching children another
language
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 at primary school has more benefits than in secondary.It is easier for individuals to learn at
younger
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a younger
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 age,
while
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 it may reduce the intensity of concentration on other subjects and will not let them use their native
language
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. Younger ages have the ability to learn, as their minds are still fresh and capable of receiving information more than adults, which will make the process of learning easier, and
also
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 produce new logical thinking.
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While
Correct word choice
On
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on the other hand
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 teaching them a foreign
language
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 will make a miss consumption
for
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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between their native
language
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 and the one
that is
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been
Wrong verb form
being
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 taught, and will use both
while
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 speaking, along to study was done on children who were receiving two languages ,
the
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and the
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 ability to form a full and flawless sentence was less compared with those who were just put their focus on their native
language
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.  
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Additionally
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Additionally,
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 the focus on essential subjects like math and science could lose their intensity since they are more crucial than new languages which leads to reducing the balance
that is
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 needed,
furthermore
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, expert teachers are in demand since they have to use different ways and styles to deliver the information.
To conclude
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, teaching a new
language
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 has it is benefits and disadvantages and taking them beside before making an important decision is crucial for both the child and his family.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points, such as studies or surveys rather than general statements.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages, which is good for a balanced essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction presents the topic well and includes the main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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