In many countries teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What is the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

Adolescents are likely to
work
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partially in many nations
such
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as my hometown, Taiwan,
also
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. Students who
work
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and study at the same time will broaden
experiences
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their experiences
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but affect
to
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apply
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some performances in school. Pupils in Taiwan usually have several part-time jobs not only to earn
tuiton
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tuition
fees which some families can't afford, but
also
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gain
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to gain
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experience. First of all, earning money
in
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at
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an early age can let them learn how to manage and control their finances wisely which is crucial in the future.
Secondly
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, working
experieces
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experiences
can let them have the opportunity to learn new skills and techniques to develop new abilities.
Moreover
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, if teenagers
work
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in a shop or restaurant, they
are remained
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continue
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to
work
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as a team and learn to communicate with each other to accomplish the tasks which can let them know the reality of the working environment.
However
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, one disadvantage of working part-time is that adolescent are easily distracted from their studies. If they have too many working hours, they might struggle with their school
work
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and have low
performances
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performance
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.
Furthermore
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, some of them might feel stressed
for
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by
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the
overwhelmed
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overwhelming
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pressure of not having a
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work life
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work-life
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balance.
This
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may lead to health and mental issues or influence their social life. In conclusion, everyone has a different life of living, it only matters
on
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apply
show examples
which option best benefits your situation and how you will navigate your future.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. State your main points more directly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas better. Use phrases to show how points connect.
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Add more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Good use of ideas about financial management and teamwork in work experience.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • teenagers
  • part-time job
  • countries
  • experience
  • skills
  • earn
  • money
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • learn
  • customer service
  • teamwork
  • manage
  • save
  • spend
  • studies
  • distract
  • struggle
  • stress
  • health
  • social life
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