IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Few countries think that people at the age greater than 30 can do things like vote for country, marriage, getting driving license etc… while most of the country oppose. What do you think?

Some countries
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that individuals should reach 30
years
Use synonyms
 old before they
allowed
Add a missing verb
are allowed
show examples
 to do mature things
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 marriage,
vote
Wrong verb form
voting
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 for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and getting driving license.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe that it is not necessary and even harmful in many cases On the one hand, it is true that
people
Use synonyms
 over 30
years
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
old is
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 mature and experienced,
therefore
Linking Words
, making difficult decisions
such
Linking Words
 as marriage,
vote
Wrong verb form
voting
show examples
 for
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 and getting driving license. Can be more stable at
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 after 18 often don't think in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
 and
Add a missing verb
are marring
show examples
marring
Correct your spelling
married
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 emotions and make poor life choices.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, setting
such
Linking Words
 high
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
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 can reduce
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
 of humans. Most
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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 to get
Correct article usage
a drive
show examples
drive
Replace the word
driver
show examples
 license and marry from 18 to 21
years
Use synonyms
because
Correct word choice
old because
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that
age
Use synonyms
goveriment
Correct your spelling
government
 claims them as adults
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 is
resposible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for their own choices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, raising the
age
Use synonyms
 to 30 could delay independence,
limit
Correct word choice
and limit
show examples
 freedom.
Instead
Linking Words
 of lifting
limits
Add a comma
limits,
show examples
Correct your spelling
government
goveriment
Correct your spelling
government
 should invest in education and guidance that are going to help young adults to make long-term choices In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
people
Use synonyms
 should become independent after reaching 30
years
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
, I strongly disagree with that
Correct your spelling
statement
statemant
Correct your spelling
statement
 because
age
Use synonyms
 does not always determine maturity and it is
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
 right to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
adult
Correct article usage
an adult
show examples
 after reaching 18 or 21
years
Use synonyms
 old

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas smoothly with linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'for example'. This will help readers follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your main points in each paragraph. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea related to your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your main points. More details will make your argument stronger.
grammar and language
Check your grammar and spelling. Fix any mistakes to improve clarity and ensure your ideas are understood easily.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for the task.
task achievement
You provide some relevant points against raising the age limit, which shows good understanding of the arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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