Some people believe that the government should ban all forms of advertising because it can influence people to buy unnecessary things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People
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would get
advantage
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the advantage
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of prohibition
all
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of all
show examples
sorts of
adds
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ads
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. Despite the fact that some advertisements have useful information about
productions
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production
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and
people
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will be informed about jobs,I agree that some of them are really nonessential and even have negative impacts. It goes without saying that some
adds
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ads
show examples
will have a detrimental impact on young age
people
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and even can lead to overconsumption. It means that some adults can have
a
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apply
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physical or mental effects from nonessential
adds
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ads
show examples
.
For example
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,
while
Linking Words
children watching some movies and instantly
facing with
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face
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announcements. These announcements will be considered with harmful consumptions
such
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as chips and fizzy drinks after watching these commercials children force their parents
buying
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to buy
show examples
harmful products that can lead to health issues. Aside from that some commercials have positive impacts
for
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on
show examples
people
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such
Linking Words
as finding
job
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a job
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or
be
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being
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informed about discount offers in shopping centres.In
this
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sense advertisement companies hire employees which
downward
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has downward
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unemployment rates in
country
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the country
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. When
in
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it
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comes to health care, advertisements that inform
people
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about their facilities save
people
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time and energy. In conclusion, despite the fact that some commercials are useless, most of them have
useful
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the useful
a useful
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impact 
of
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on
show examples
 consumers.

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task achievement
Make your introduction clearer by stating your main point directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to make your ideas flow better, like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in addition'.
task achievement
Include more examples to support your points, especially in your body paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You make a valid point about the impact of advertisements on children.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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