IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

.Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views

In recent times, the topic of whether
upon
Punctuation problem
, upon
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 graduating from senior high school, youngsters ought to keep on studying
further
Linking Words
 or not.
While
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 individuals argue that going on to study at university or college will be the best way in order to ensure a successful career, others believe that getting a job right after graduation is a wiser choice.
This
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 essay will provide a thorough examination of these contrasting perspectives. On the one hand, it is essential to acknowledge that individuals ought to
recognize
Use the right word
recognise
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 the significant advantages of starting work
instantly
Rephrase
immediately
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 after graduation.
Initially
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, thanks to working, the youth have the ability to earn money at an early stage. Since they will likely be natural enough,
this
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 allows them to able to become independent on their own income. It is evident that having a job
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is an
opportunity
Punctuation problem
opportunity,
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 helps them get a more grown-up version.
Secondly
Linking Words
, those who choose to work
instead
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 of pursuing higher education may have a better chance of advancing swiftly in their careers.
This
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 not only helps them have multiple practical experiences but
also
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 develops
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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 skills in their career path.
On the other hand
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, there are a variety of reasons why the young opt to continue studying after graduation. First and foremost, college and university education
equip
Correct subject-verb agreement
equips
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 teenagers with
meeting
Wrong verb form
the ability to meet
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 the
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
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 of a degree, and the majority of employers today look forward to
this
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. What’s more, job markets are becoming more and more competitive. On account of the intense competition from hundreds of applicants, people are well-advised to have remarkable qualifications in order to secure the best jobs. Having a degree is an obvious advantage that graduates obtain. In Vietnam, students who graduate with a qualification in engineering are often well-paid and can easily hold good jobs.
To sum up
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, it is evident that both entering the workforce after high school and chasing higher education have their own specific benefits.

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task achievement
Try to clarify your main ideas more clearly. Make sure each point is fully explained with reasons or examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas, like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'.
task achievement
You presented both views on the topic, which shows a good understanding of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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