IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home.\Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In
this
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 material world, the issue of working at
home
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 has become a common concern across all sectors of society.
Whereas
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 a good number of individuals tend to take it rosy, others seem to hold
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 tend.
However
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, before giving a reasoned conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will outline both merits and demerits of it.
To begin
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 with, nowadays working at
home
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 is becoming very popular among
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
for making
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to make
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 their life
easy
Correct word choice
easier
show examples
.To cite an example, in developed
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 young
people
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 now choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
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remote
job
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jobs
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, whereas
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whereas
Correct word choice
where
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 they can perform their tasks
through
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apply
show examples
online.
As a result
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, they are able to show their productivity where the place is not a big issue . Another worth mentioning point could be that they can spend a good quality
time
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 with their families.
For instance
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,
people
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 now
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 need to
ready
Verb problem
prepare
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 for commuting
their
Change preposition
to their
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 office .
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Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 they can give that
time
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 to their spouse , children or parents
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is essential for every joint family.
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last
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Last
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 but not least,
people
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 do not spend their
time
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for
Change preposition
on
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transport
Punctuation problem
transport,
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Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is a big savings of
time
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. For a start, by working at
Use synonyms
home
Punctuation problem
home,
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people
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 are becoming less
socialized
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socialised
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 and less
interact
Verb problem
likely to interact
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 with others .
For instance
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, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, young
people
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 feel
comfort by
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
 working
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their residence .
so
Fix capitalization
So
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 they provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
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less amount of
time
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 to be
socialized
Use the right word
socialised
show examples
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 when it is the
time
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 of making
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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friends. Another disadvantage would be that they often
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 give proper concentration to their work
due to
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familys
Correct your spelling
family
responsibility
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
show examples
.
For example
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, researcher show that they hardly
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
concentration
Replace the word
concentrate
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 on meetings or training as a
resullt
Correct your spelling
result
 their productivity
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 down.
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to
Fix capitalization
To
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 sum up, having
analyzed
Use the right word
analysed
show examples
 both merits and demerits of working at
home
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,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 have come to the conclusion that
this
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 affair tends to come with more advantages like providing family
time
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, avoiding commute to office, convenient environment for work rather than disadvantages of less productivity , loose proper concentration.

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conclusion
Improve your conclusion to summarize your main points clearly. Make sure it reflects your arguments more strongly.
coherence
Use clearer transitions between points to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, making them stronger and more convincing.
introduction
Your introduction outlines both sides of the argument clearly, showing an understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • flexible schedule
  • work-life balance
  • commuting costs
  • carbon footprint
  • isolation
  • productivity
  • social interaction
  • distractions
  • efficiency
  • boundaries
  • burnout
What to do next:
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