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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many parts of the world, people are moving to city
areas
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 from rural
areas
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 of a country to find better jobs, education and healthcare.
As a result
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, the population in the rural
areas
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 is going down.
As well as
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, the city
areas
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 have become overcrowded. In my opinion,
this
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 is a negative development because it creates
problems
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 for both cities and rural
areas
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. One of the main reasons is that it has reduced the skilled population in rural
areas
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. So, food production in
this
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 area is decreasing
day
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 by
day
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, which is impacting the country's economy.
For example
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, more young people are moving from rural
areas
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 in India. So, the population of rural
areas
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 is decreasing, which has reduced farming and food production.
This
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 has had a greater impact on the country’s economy. Another reason is that the cities are becoming more overcrowded
day
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 by
day
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.
As a result
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, many
problems
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 have increased , like higher living costs, air pollution and healthcare
problems
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. Schools, colleges and hospitals have become overcrowded
due to
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 unusual movements. It has increased mental
problems
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as well as
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 reduced quality of life.
This
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 makes life more stressful and difficult for everyone living in the cities. In conclusion,
although
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,
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apply
show examples
 there are some benefits of
this
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 trend, I think the
overall
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 result is negative. Because
,
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apply
show examples
 there are some serious challenges like health
problems
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, education
problems
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, environmental
problems
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 , etc. Countries should try to develop rural
areas
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 so people do not feel the need to leave these
areas
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly separate your ideas into paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
task response
Make sure your introduction gives a clear overview of your opinion, stating both sides briefly if you mention benefits.
task response
Use more examples and details to support your main ideas, especially in the second paragraph.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear opinion throughout, which is important for this topic.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples which help to support your points about rural areas and cities.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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