IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Hw. Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. Others believe that higher education should be available only to good students. Discuss these views. Which view do you agree with? Explain why.

I In recent times, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that college
education
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 should be accessible to all
students
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,
whereas
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 others
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
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 statement. I personally am of the opinion that higher
education
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 should be available for all
students
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regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
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 of their performance. On the one hand, existing
system
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systems
show examples
such
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 as entrance exams, merit-based admission
does
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do
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 support
people
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 who are bright in studies.
This
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 does ensure that
students
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 get filtered during the admission process.
However
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, eliminating the chance to give
such
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 exams would be unfair to other
students
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 who aspire to learn .
To begin
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 with,
education
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 is one of the basic fundamental rights of human beings.
People
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 are
entitiled
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entitled
 to learn as much as they aspire for
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, inspite
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inspite
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regardless
 of their performance.
Furthermore
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, some
students
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 may excel in their work despite not securing high ranks for the
theoritical
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theoretical
 exams
which
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, which
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 often reflects the knowledge rather than
skill
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the skill
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 of individuals.
For instance
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 ,
In addition
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, higher
edcuation
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education
 is
also
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 required for individuals for job security and career growth. In today's
world
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world,
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 where securing
an
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apply
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employment is highly competitive,
people
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 with higher
education
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 are more favoured.
For example
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 ,many jobs these days require
its
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their
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 employers to
atleast
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at least
 have a
bachelor
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bachelor's
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 degree to become eligible for the job.
Therefore
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, everyone must be given the opportunity to study as much as they want to. In conclusion ,I firmly support the notion that everyone should be given the chance to gain as much
education
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 as they want to.
This
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 is
due to
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 different
factros
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factors
such
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 as the need for higher
eductaional qualificantions
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educational qualifications
 in
todays
Check wording
today's
show examples
 fields , and to
maintin equalitty
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maintain equality
 for everyone.

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task response
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammar errors. For example, 'disgree' should be 'disagree', and 'entitiled' should be 'entitled'.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details.
task response
Provide a specific example for your point about students excelling in their work. This would make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to connect your ideas better between paragraphs.
content
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic.
content
You have provided reasons for why higher education should be available to all students, showing good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • higher education
  • academic excellence
  • personal development
  • meritocratic
  • resource allocation
  • inclusive education
  • social equity
  • innovation
  • education pathways
  • academic performance
  • career opportunities
  • societal benefits
  • selective education
  • quality assurance
  • financial constraints
  • motivation
  • education standards
  • accessibility
  • equity and inclusion
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