IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans show a pubic park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today

These maps illustrate the past and present layout of a public park.
Overall
Linking Words
, some major facilities have been replaced by other modern entertainment,
while
Linking Words
 seats and rose gardens remain but have changed positions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an additional entrance for underground car parking has been added. In 1920, a fountain was located in the centre of the park, with two
entrance
Fix the agreement mistake
entrances
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 situated on the north and south sides. To the left
side
Use synonyms
 of the map, there was a stage for musicians
stood
Correct pronoun usage
that stood
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 between the two rose
Use synonyms
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
, one in the northwest corner and
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 in the southwest. To the
right hand
Use the right word
right-hand
show examples
side
Use synonyms
, a rose
garden
Use synonyms
 and a pond for water plants lay next to each other to the north, and a glasshouse was at the opposite
side
Use synonyms
. Five seats were
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
placed between each facility.
In today
Change preposition
Today
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, one rose
garden
Use synonyms
 is moved to the heart of the park,
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
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with
Change preposition
by
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 four seats. An
amphitheater
Use the right word
amphitheatre
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 for concerts occupies most of the area on the left-hand
side
Use synonyms
 of the map,
while
Linking Words
 the rose
garden
Use synonyms
 in the northwest remains unchanged. On the right
side
Use synonyms
, a cafe has replaced the former rose
garden
Use synonyms
, and the playground
now
Rephrase
apply
show examples
was a pond in the past. A water feature is constructed below the cafe and playground since the glasshouse was demolished.

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Task Response
Make your introduction a bit clearer by stating what specific changes are shown in the maps.
Coherence and Cohesion
Add more linking words, like 'first', 'next', and 'finally', to make it easier to follow your ideas.
Task Response
Use more specific details about the locations of features to help the reader picture the park's design better.
Task Achievement
You clearly describe the changes in the park's layout over time, showing good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of clear comparisons between the past and present makes your writing engaging and easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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