IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that economic development is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others argue that economic development is damaging the environment and needs to stop. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the majority
Use synonyms
devices
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of devices
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 created by
people
Use synonyms
ensure
Verb problem
make
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 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 more comfortable, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue with
this
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 and prefer the
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
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 that technologies make their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
 more difficult.
This
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 essay will discuss both approaches and help to understand
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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if
Change preposition
whether
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 technology
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 or
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 stress. On the one hand, many types of communication tools
created
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have been created
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for helping
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to help
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people
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
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simplify their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 and avoid
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
Change preposition
of diffucult
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diffucult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 tasks,
wich
Use the right word
which
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 our other
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
devises
Use the right word
devices
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 can
succefully
Rephrase
apply
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perform
.
Rephrase
successfully.
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 Implementation of technologies
open
Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
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 more possibilities for
people
Use synonyms
for realizing
Change preposition
to realise
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 their wishes
needs
Correct word choice
and needs
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. If you walk on the street and look around, you will see
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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that
people
Use synonyms
 use mobile phones. The same situation with the
using
Wrong verb form
use of
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 laptops
on
Change preposition
for
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majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. For
instanse
Correct your spelling
instance
, on the Nova
Post
Add a comma
Post,
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 all employees
used
Wrong verb form
use
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as
Change preposition
apply
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laptops as mobile
phone
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phones
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 for work,
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
its
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 play a vital role
at
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in
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 internal communication and
helps
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help
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 perform
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 process
consistent
Replace the word
consistently
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 and fast.
On the other hand
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to think that
devices
Use synonyms
complicate
Verb problem
make
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 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 more difficult. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 thoughts
are
Verb problem
is are
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 negative
influance
Correct your spelling
influence
for
Change preposition
on
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 every
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
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, some danger
for
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to
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 health and bad habits, like every day
wake up
Verb problem
apply
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and
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firstly check
Wrong verb form
checking
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 your phone and social media
.
Rephrase
first.
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 Or spending much time in video calls or chats.
For example
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, a lot
time
Change preposition
of time
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 using
devices
Use synonyms
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
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 our seen. In conclusion, the
devices
Use synonyms
 usually used by
people
Use synonyms
 to
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
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 our lives and make our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
 better. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 technologies
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 us and

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and sticks to it. This helps the reader follow your thoughts more easily. For example, separate the discussion of devices complicating life into a clear paragraph of its own.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed explanations or examples to support your ideas. This will help make your argument stronger. For instance, explain how using technology every day affects people's health beyond just mentioning it.
grammatical range and accuracy
Use correct spelling and grammar to improve readability. For example, check for words like 'difucult' and 'influance' which should be 'difficult' and 'influence'. Correcting these will help your score.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize the main points you've made before stating your opinion. This will give a clearer final impression to your reader.
task achievement
You show an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You provide examples from real life, which help to illustrate your points and make them relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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