IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, governments and individuals spend too much money on national celebrations such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrating is important and it
Verb problem
has becaome
show examples
becaome
Correct your spelling
become
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 method to
marketing
Replace the word
market
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries.
This
Linking Words
 is why some people think
that
Linking Words
is
Use the right word
it
show examples
impact
Wrong verb form
impacts
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 their
touresm
Correct your spelling
tourism
while
Linking Words
 others believe
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 not the case. The following
discusstion
Correct your spelling
discussion
 will explore the opposing views
surroundinf
Correct your spelling
surrounding
 the issue and provide a reasoned personal opinion.
Firstlly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, the festivals have many faces of marketing and
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
 a good amount of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 can be returned to the civil
touresim
Correct your spelling
tourism
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, we can look at
Qatar
Check wording
Qatar's
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world cup
Fix capitalization
World Cup
show examples
 experience as
sample
Correct article usage
a sample
show examples
,
Qata's
Correct your spelling
Qatar's
tuorisme
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tourism
 increased ten times and had
sevral benifit
Correct your spelling
several benefits
 and
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
show examples
also
Linking Words
, Qatar
become
Verb problem
has become
show examples
 these days
as
Change preposition
apply
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a
secand distanation
Correct your spelling
second destination
 after Dubai in the
Medle-East
Correct your spelling
Middle-East
 region for visiting from
traveler
Replace the word
travellers
show examples
. 
Furthermore
Linking Words
, London has
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
annoual
Correct your spelling
annual
 festival that they name it Wanter Land and
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 individuals from all over the world to attend
this
Linking Words
 event and celebrate with
frinds
Correct your spelling
friends
 and family.
However
Linking Words
, it is
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
 idea to be involved in international events as soon as you have the opportunity to reflect your culture, food and community.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some citizen see that events
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 their life
qualitiy
Correct your spelling
quality
 or they
excpect
Correct your spelling
expect
 an income money
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not worth
enught
Correct your spelling
enough
 for the spending and it can be
worthable
Correct your spelling
worthwhile
 in
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
felid
Use the right word
fields
show examples
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the countries
how
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 have poor
eccounmy
Correct your spelling
economy
 or weak
daiversty
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diversity
 are not able to accommodate there kind of
acctivety
Correct your spelling
activity
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 conclusion,
a fter
Use the right word
after
show examples
 analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
.
personally
Fix capitalization
Personally
show examples
, I believe that
univarsal
Correct your spelling
universal
 events
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more efficient,
benified
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 and marketable if you are empowered to run it
smothly
Correct your spelling
smoothly
.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction to clearly state your opinion on the topic. Make sure to outline the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphing. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that relates to your argument.
task achievement
Check for spelling mistakes, like 'becaome' and 'surroundinf'. These can lower the quality of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, explain how these events directly benefit local businesses or community.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, like the Qatar World Cup, which helps support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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