In many countries, governments and individuals spend too much money on national celebrations such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
the issue and provide a reasoned personal opinion.
Body paragraph 2
Firstlly
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Firstly
, the festivals have many faces of marketing and
invest
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investing
show examples
a good amount of
mony
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money
can be returned to the civil
touresim
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tourism
by
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in
show examples
positive
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a positive
show examples
ways
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way
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
However
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, we can look at
Qatar
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Qatar's
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world cup
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World Cup
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experience as
sample
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a sample
show examples
,
Qata's
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Qatar's
tuorisme
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tourism
increased ten times and had
sevral benifit
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several benefits
and
profit
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profits
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also
Linking Words
, Qatar
become
Verb problem
has become
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these days
as
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apply
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a
secand distanation
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second destination
after Dubai in the
Medle-East
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Middle-East
region for visiting from
traveler
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travellers
show examples
.
Body paragraph 4
Furthermore
Linking Words
, London has
a
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an
show examples
annoual
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annual
festival that they name it Wanter Land and
its
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it
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bring
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brings
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individuals from all over the world to attend
this
Linking Words
event and celebrate with
frinds
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friends
and family.
Body paragraph 5
However
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, it is
perfect
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a perfect
show examples
idea to be involved in international events as soon as you have the opportunity to reflect your culture, food and community.
Body paragraph 6
On the other hand
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, some citizen see that events
it
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apply
show examples
can not
improving
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improve
show examples
their life
qualitiy
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quality
or they
excpect
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expect
an income money
are
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is
show examples
not worth
enught
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enough
for the spending and it can be
worthable
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worthwhile
in
diffirent
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different
felid
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fields
show examples
.
Body paragraph 7
in
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In
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addtion
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addition
, the countries
how
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that
show examples
have poor
eccounmy
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economy
or weak
daiversty
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diversity
are not able to accommodate there kind of
acctivety
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activity
.
Body paragraph 8
in
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In
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conclusion,
a fter
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after
show examples
analysis of both
point
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points
show examples
view
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of view
show examples
.
Conclusion
personally
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Personally
show examples
, I believe that
univarsal
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universal
events
is
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are
show examples
more efficient,
benified
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beneficial
and marketable if you are empowered to run it
smothly
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smoothly
.
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coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction to clearly state your opinion on the topic. Make sure to outline the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphing. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that relates to your argument.
task achievement
Check for spelling mistakes, like 'becaome' and 'surroundinf'. These can lower the quality of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, explain how these events directly benefit local businesses or community.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, like the Qatar World Cup, which helps support your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
The death penalty for people who committed a violent crime is promoted by some people while others think capital punishment is outdated. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty for people who commit violent crimes. I think people who commit violent crimes should learn from their mistakes and should get the chance to better themselves.
Many little, local stores are lacking as they are helpless to compete with big shops in the space. As a result, local shops will face job loss and provide less personal service, but this can be tackled by promoting local shopping initiatives and collaborating networks for local businesses.
In recent years, the topic of gender inequality has emerged as a significant concern for the general public. This issue is rooted in a number of social and economic factors, and addressing it requires long-term and coordinated efforts from governments and communities.
In recent years, there has been a growing debate about the roles of famous people on social media. While some people may argue that such individuals should clearly expose their personalities online, personally, I strongly agree with the statement and believe that this phenomenon may cause various drawbacks, which will be elaborated on in this essay.
Industrialization has caused drastic changes in society. One of the notable effects is the fact that people from the countryside are moving to big cities, which leads to a decrease in the rural population. In my opinion, the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks due to two main reasons.