In many countries, governments and individuals spend too much money on national celebrations such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrating is important and it

Verb problem

has becaome

show examples

becaome

Correct your spelling

become

Change preposition

apply

show examples

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

method to

marketing

Replace the word

market

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

countries.

This

Linking Words

is why some people think

that

Linking Words

Use the right word

show examples

impact

Wrong verb form

impacts

show examples

their

touresm

Correct your spelling

tourism

while

Linking Words

others believe

that

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

it is

show examples

not the case.

Body paragraph 1

The following

discusstion

Correct your spelling

discussion

will explore the opposing views

surroundinf

Correct your spelling

surrounding

the issue and provide a reasoned personal opinion.

Body paragraph 2

Firstlly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

, the festivals have many faces of marketing and

invest

Wrong verb form

investing

show examples

a good amount of

mony

Correct your spelling

money

can be returned to the civil

touresim

Correct your spelling

tourism

Change preposition

show examples

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

ways

Fix the agreement mistake

way

show examples

Body paragraph 3

However

Linking Words

, we can look at

Qatar

Check wording

Qatar's

show examples

world cup

Fix capitalization

World Cup

show examples

experience as

sample

Correct article usage

a sample

show examples

Qata's

Correct your spelling

Qatar's

tuorisme

Correct your spelling

tourism

increased ten times and had

sevral benifit

Correct your spelling

several benefits

and

profit

Fix the agreement mistake

profits

show examples

also

Linking Words

, Qatar

become

Verb problem

has become

show examples

these days

Change preposition

apply

show examples

secand distanation

Correct your spelling

second destination

after Dubai in the

Medle-East

Correct your spelling

Middle-East

region for visiting from

traveler

Replace the word

travellers

show examples

Body paragraph 4

Furthermore

Linking Words

, London has

Correct article usage

show examples

annoual

Correct your spelling

annual

festival that they name it Wanter Land and

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

individuals from all over the world to attend

this

Linking Words

event and celebrate with

frinds

Correct your spelling

friends

and family.

Body paragraph 5

However

Linking Words

, it is

perfect

Correct article usage

a perfect

show examples

idea to be involved in international events as soon as you have the opportunity to reflect your culture, food and community.

Body paragraph 6

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some citizen see that events

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can not

improving

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

their life

qualitiy

Correct your spelling

quality

or they

excpect

Correct your spelling

expect

an income money

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not worth

enught

Correct your spelling

enough

for the spending and it can be

worthable

Correct your spelling

worthwhile

diffirent

Correct your spelling

different

felid

Use the right word

fields

show examples

Body paragraph 7

Fix capitalization

show examples

addtion

Correct your spelling

addition

, the countries

how

Correct word choice

that

show examples

have poor

eccounmy

Correct your spelling

economy

or weak

daiversty

Correct your spelling

diversity

are not able to accommodate there kind of

acctivety

Correct your spelling

activity

Body paragraph 8

Fix capitalization

show examples

conclusion,

a fter

Use the right word

after

show examples

analysis of both

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

view

Change preposition

of view

show examples

Conclusion

personally

Fix capitalization

Personally

show examples

, I believe that

univarsal

Correct your spelling

universal

events

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more efficient,

benified

Correct your spelling

beneficial

and marketable if you are empowered to run it

smothly

Correct your spelling

smoothly

abdulrahman.az

Jul 6, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the introduction to clearly state your opinion on the topic. Make sure to outline the main points.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear paragraphing. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that relates to your argument.

task achievement

Check for spelling mistakes, like 'becaome' and 'surroundinf'. These can lower the quality of your writing.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, explain how these events directly benefit local businesses or community.

task achievement

You present both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples, like the Qatar World Cup, which helps support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
62
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

10 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many people say that the most effective way to deal with crime is to give longer prison sentences. However, others think there are better ways to do so. Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.
In today’s society, many people believe that the best way to deal with crime is to give harsher prison sentences, while others think that there are better ways to do it. Although both views hold merit, this essay will discuss both sides before showing my opinions.
7.5
band
Some people say that too much time and resources are spent on the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people think that the amount of time and resources are utilized for the preservation of a number of species of wild creatures and birds. I personally disagree with this notion and think that the time and resources which we have spent to protect them are not enough. In the following paragraph, the reasons why they are not ample will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
7.5
band
Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give ur opinion
Early childhood education plays a crucial role in children's development. There is a split in opinion on whether it is necessary for parents to use childcare services, or if looking after children by their grandparents is a better way. This essay will explore both views, and provide my personal opinion at the end.
7
band
Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether the expansion of public transportation or road infrastructure will be more effective in reducing automobile congestion. According to me, both ways can contribute to the solution of the issue, so a harmonious combination of the two is required.
8
band
Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Taking a year off from education between finishing school or college and going to university is a popular choice for young people. Generally speaking, doing so does not negatively affect their educational progress and, depending on how the time out is spent, can lead to invaluable experiences before moving into higher education.

In many countries, governments and individuals spend too much money on national celebrations such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that the most effective way to deal with crime is to give longer prison sentences. However, others think there are better ways to do so. Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint.

Some people say that too much time and resources are spent on the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give ur opinion

Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?