IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are several
people
Use synonyms
 who consider they should compete with each other in their workplace, school and even in their daily life,
while
Linking Words
 some individuals argue that it is better to have
cooperation
Use synonyms
 with each other
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I side with those who claim that
cooperation
Use synonyms
 is better than competition. On the one hand, it is
though
Use the right word
thought
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 that if
people
Use synonyms
 compete with each other, they can enhance their performance at work.
they
Fix capitalization
They
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 obtain better results in their exams at school and
get
Verb problem
achieve
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 accomplishments in their personal lives.
That is
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 to say, having competed, they will be more motivated
and
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, and
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 it inspires them to do their best at work. A good illustration is to imagine that in a classroom where there is no competition among students, students might not do their best and may only aim to pass the exams.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that
cooperation
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a significant role in
people
Use synonyms
’s lives. It encourages them to share their perspectives and experiences
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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even it
Correct word order
it even
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 increases their teamwork abilities.
To begin
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 with,
people
Use synonyms
 who work in a company
,
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apply
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 try to
utilize
Use the right word
utilise
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 each
others
Check wording
other's
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 ideas and knowledge in order to mitigate their mistakes.
Therefore
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, when the company
will be
Verb problem
becomes
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 more successful day by day, all employees
obtain
Verb problem
will
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beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
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 profits at their workplace.
In addition
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, if they collaborate in the company, it assists them to improve their teamwork skills, which has effective and valuable consequences in their personal lives. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 competition grows
people
Use synonyms
’s performance, in my opinion,
cooperation
Use synonyms
 is more helpful. Not only can it make
people
Use synonyms
 know about their strengths and weaknesses, but it
also
Linking Words
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
 them to promote their teamwork skills.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain and support your main points with strong examples.
coherence and cohesion
Add more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on cooperation.
task achievement
You provided a good example of competition in the classroom.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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