‏There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

Motivation is required to stay focused in any field of
work
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. Few people believe that many reasons can motivate the individual to
work
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for the same organisation ,
while
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others consider that money is the crucial key. I fully disagree with the notion for which reasons that are articulated in the upcoming paragraphs. The prime reason behind to staying inspired is the environment. Between the long tasks of
work
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, employees need a break
within
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, within
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that positive atmosphere plays a vital role in helping them to be encouraged and
work
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with full focus.
Moreover
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, the process of performance assists a person in becoming the best.
Additionally
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, the policies which are made for the jobholders by taking care of each area are
also
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a very useful factor to stay active towards
work
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.
For instance
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, many multinational companies provide very liberal policies for leave applications, so one can easily apply the leave and get approval as per need.
Furthermore
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, money can be a factor in motivation.
However
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, to achieve success with these factors, one needs to change the workplace frequently ;
otherwise
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, in the same organisation, it is hard to get promotions every month. On the basis of
wage
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wages
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, workers can not get
the
Correct article usage
apply
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satisfaction towards
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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work
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, and
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then
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apply
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after some experience, the salary hike is getting lower in proportion to their entire
work
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journey.
To conclude
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, in my opinion, I do not consider wealth to be the main characteristic to stay in the same place; there are several more reasons. Most of the employees are finding peace each day to help themselves boost their confidence in the fast-paced era. On
this
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account, if they find comfort in
work
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and positivity in surroundings,
then
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they choose that place to
work
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for years.

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task achievement
Your essay has good ideas but could be clearer. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and supports your opinion directly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas. This will help your paragraphs flow better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You express your opinion clearly and provide reasons for it.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing shows good organization with an introduction and conclusion.
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