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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two pie graphs given
illustrares
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 a comparison of
age
Use synonyms
 groups of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and 2003. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is evident that the data on the
age
Use synonyms
 over 55
years
Use synonyms
 old; 16-24
years
Use synonyms
 old and from 0-16
years
Use synonyms
 old saw an upward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
, a reverse pattern could be seen in the figures for that of over 25
years
Use synonyms
 old to under 54
years
Use synonyms
 old. In 1983, the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
those
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 35-54
years
Use synonyms
 old was the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
, at 50%. The proportion of 25-34
years
Use synonyms
 old
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
55+
years
Use synonyms
 old was lower, at 20%
anf
Correct your spelling
and
 16%, respectively, followed by the teenager at 10%. The children from 0-15
years
Use synonyms
 old for the lowest value, at only 4%. In 2003, the rate of
age
Use synonyms
 35-54
years
Use synonyms
 old fell significantly to 50% and 35%, in the given order. Meanwhile, there was a slight
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 in the ratio of the children from 10% in 1983 to 12% in 2003. The level of
over
Correct pronoun usage
those over
show examples
 55
years
Use synonyms
 old experienced a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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 increase to 26% in 2003. The number of
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 grew sharply from 4% in 1983 to 15% in 2003. The percentage of
age
Use synonyms
 groups over 25 to under 35
years
Use synonyms
 old witnessed a consistent
fell
Replace the word
fall
show examples
 from 20% in 1983 to 12% in 2003.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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