Prompt: Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same events on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Attending
to
Change preposition
apply
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a
live
Use synonyms
event
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example, a play,
concert
Use synonyms
or
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
Correct your spelling
competition
comeptition
Punctuation problem
comeptition,
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is more enjoyable than watching the same type of events
in
Change preposition
on
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a screen. I firmly
belive
Use the right word
believe
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that the best way
for living
Change preposition
to live
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these performances is where they take place. A primary reason is the unique environment that
only can
Correct word order
can only
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be experienced during a
live
Use synonyms
show. The vibrant scene that occurs during its development could never be well explained by words, the crowd claiming for their idol and the
possibity
Correct your spelling
possibility
to sing
along with
Linking Words
him create unforgettable memories.
For instance
Linking Words
, I recall that when I was
young
Punctuation problem
young,
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I was invited by my uncle to a famous
latin
Fix capitalization
Latin
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rock band
concert
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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it was so amazing that I can still remember every detail like it was yesterday.
However
Linking Words
, there are some people that does not enjoy too crowded places. They argue that you can have a good experience, if you have a huge television and
the
Correct article usage
an
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adequate
soround
Correct your spelling
surround
sound system without being squeezed in the public.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by watching the performance at
home
Punctuation problem
home,
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they can have whatever they want to eat and drink without paying the higher prices of the stadium.
Nervertheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, in
this
Linking Words
way
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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impossible to really connect with the artist. To
Illustrate
Fix capitalization
illustrate
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, I remember that I saw a
live
Use synonyms
concert
Use synonyms
of the same band at a friend’s home
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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the feelings were by far less intense compared with what I felt in that
live
Use synonyms
concert
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is true that both positions have their point.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even
, with all the arguments that I have claimed
above
Punctuation problem
above,
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I
absolutly recomend
Correct your spelling
absolutely recommend
to attend
Wrong verb form
attending
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at least once in your life to a
live
Use synonyms
event of your favourite band or
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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team.

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Task Achievement
Improve the introduction to clearly state your opinion. Include a brief summary of the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'additionally', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, explain why the energy of a live concert is special.
Relevant Example
Your personal experience with the concert is a strong point that adds to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • atmosphere
  • energy
  • experience
  • emotional connection
  • performers
  • audience
  • social interaction
  • convenience
  • quality production
  • audio-visual enhancements
  • shared enjoyment
  • intensity
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