It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In conclusion, living without a

job

Use synonyms

can preferable way of being mentally healthy

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

I seriously doubt

people

Use synonyms

ought to work even

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

do not like it, as they can be

financial

Replace the word

financially

show examples

good. There is a view that being without a

job

Use synonyms

is better than being employed

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

which

Correct word choice

where

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

one

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not engaged.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

argue in favour, I strongly oppose

this

Linking Words

notion, as working is not just for fun

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

it plays a crucial role in being financially independent. On the one hand,

while

Linking Words

a jobless life might be great for several reasons, one of the main benefits is

Use synonyms

people

Correct word choice

that people

show examples

can be mentally healthy. To be clear, when

people

Use synonyms

are employed but do not enjoy it, it can lead to emotional instability

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as anxiety, stress, and they become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overthinker

Fix the agreement mistake

overthinkers

show examples

. All these things can damage their mental health.

As a result

Linking Words

, if they were unemployed, they would be much better physically and mentally.

In addition

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

do something by force or without love can restrict their motivation and creativity. For these reasons, being unemployed may be a way to stay a creative person and

also

Linking Words

with motivation. Despite the advantages,

however

Linking Words

, I believe a workless life is not a good idea, even if they do not like it. First of all, the purpose of having a

job

Use synonyms

is not only to have fun, but it is

also

Linking Words

essential to have a salary. Because

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

nowadays money plays an important role in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

in order to have a shelter, food and even for studying,

people

Use synonyms

need money. If

people

Use synonyms

leave their

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

just because they do not like

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

, who will take care of their

family

Check wording

family's

show examples

needs

Change the punctuation

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should work even if they are not interested in their close ones' needs. In conclusion, living without a

job

Use synonyms

can preferable way of being mentally healthy, but I seriously doubt

people

Use synonyms

ought to work even if they do not like it, as they can be financially good.

Bunnijon16

Jul 7, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

organization

Put your main idea in a clear line at the start of each paragraph and keep it steady.

coherence

Use easy linking words like also, but, because to show how ideas go with others.

grammar

Check grammar and spell more. Use simple, correct form of words.

examples

Add one clear example for each big point to be sure your thought is shown.

structure

Finish with a short, strong end that repeats your view.

content

You state your view about the topic and try to discuss the idea.

structure

There is a final line that repeats your view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

327 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

transnational problems
climate change
ozone layer depletion
pollution
collaborative efforts
pooling of resources
expertise
technology
innovative solutions
international standards
race to the bottom
environmental standards
capacity
impacts
national sovereignty
independently
economic
social contexts
international consensus
legal
political systems
enforcement

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?
In the contemporary era, household members are becoming away from each other, as numerous parents and children are choosing to be separated. This essay will suggest that having full freedom and being responsible are the foremost benefits and demonstrate that losing contact and parental upbringing is the primary disadvantage.
7
band
Many people think that to become a successful specialist it's better to choose a career early in life and never changer it later. To what extent do you agree with tis view. support your opinion with relevant examples.
Some people believe that to become an expert in your job, you need to start it as soon as possible. Choosing a job at a young age and continuing it can provide a good career in the future. And I agree with the statement that, in order to find enough skills, you have to start working at a young age.
8
band
Last week you were on a flight to London. Unfortunately, when you got off the plane, you left a bag there. You did not remember about the bag until you got to your hotel. Write a letter to the airline. In your letter explain what has happened describe the bag and its contents say what you would like them to do about this problem
I was on the flight from Mumbai to London last week, Flight number L14787, ticket number AHJJJV369. I was dealing with severe migraine due to this long 14-hour flight. I was not acting myself and realized my mistake only when I reached the hotel, That I was missing my black bag.
7
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The argument about whether advertisements are effective in increasing people’s desire to purchase has become very popular in recent years. While some argue that advertisements are too common to attract attention, I personally believe they effectively influence people’s purchasing decisions.
7.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is being said that the main purpose of exploration is that it should be able to have advantages in society's lives. I completely agree with this statement, because studies are usually conducted with the funds that are collected from the population and it has the opportunity to make various activities in different fields easier to do.

It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Many people think that to become a successful specialist it's better to choose a career early in life and never changer it later. To what extent do you agree with tis view. support your opinion with relevant examples.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?