Some people think that the environment may be destroyed because of tourism. Others, however, believe that it is a way to preserve nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some think that tourism activities can ruin the environment,
while
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others believe that it is how human to conserve
nature
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.
This
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essay agrees with the first point and will show that, despite human doing their best to save the natural tourism places, there will always be a part for imperfection. Several
people
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think that making
nature
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a vacation spot is a way to preserve the natural environment, because those places can be controlled by
humans
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. Not only that,
while
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preserving
nature
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,
people
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can
also
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enjoy the beauty of
nature
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. There are some tourist places managed excellently, which are preserving
nature
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.
For example
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, Mount Fuji in Japan, local
people
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, and even a group managing the mountain very well, keeping it clean and well-maintained.
However
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, I believe these kinds of
people
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and culture are rare in other tourist spots.
On the other hand
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, with a stronger view, most of the tourism managers in the world will make some mistakes even though they already try their best not to make any errors. Unlike
nature
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,
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nature
Check wording
humans
show examples
can take care of
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
without relying on
humans
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.
For instance
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, the coral reef ecosystem. It can develop without human intervention, in fact the most of the damage comes from
humans
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. In conclusion, despite the benefits of being managed by
humans
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.
This
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essay believes that
nature
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is better taken care of by oneself than by
people
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.

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Task Achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea with examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Connect your ideas more smoothly with linking words.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas clearly.
Task Achievement
You presented both sides of the debate and gave your opinion clearly.
Task Achievement
You used some good examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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