IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university educatiom and the governments should make it free for all students no metter what financial background have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals believe that everyone deserves equal rights when it comes to tertiary studies, so it should be free to all students. I agree towards
this
Linking Words
 claim that allowing teenagers from any financial
state
Check wording
background
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 to
academics
Verb problem
pursue academics
show examples
 is necessary, but there are parts that cannot be overlooked. Making university free will allow the public to achieve a quality education equally.
For example
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, countries like Germany
,
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apply
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 accept students from every background if they pass the entry exam, giving opportunities to those who lack financial means.
Furthermore
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, more than 50% of teenagers living in slum tenements drop out of school to pursue hardship jobs, knowing that they can't afford a higher schooling level. If all universities become costless,
this
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 will allow many youths to develop a better future and allow them to have a level playing field.
However
Linking Words
, education is a high priority for those who are in the industry. The reason why some universities cost more than $100,000 a year is that they can make a profit
along with
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 hiring good professors, maintaining a comfortable campus and maintaining strong competition.
In addition
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, there are a number of colleges that are free to those who desire to attend, so is it necessary to make every higher study institution free? In a recent study, it was shown that Ivy League schools earn billions of dollars per year, making them highly competitive. In conclusion, many people agree that university studies should be free to all. On the one hand,
this
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 action will allow many alumni to show off their skills without the others moving the goalposts.
On the other hand
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, to
assert
Wrong verb form
asserted
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 that the academic field is a competitive business. In order to attract and achieve a successful future workforce that will bring popularity, they spend the tuition fee on different factors. Personally, I believe academics should be equal to the public to create a better future.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs a clearer statement of your viewpoint on free university education. Make sure your opinion is evident right away.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in conclusion' to make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Add more details or examples to support your arguments. This will make your points stronger and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to focus on one main idea per paragraph to help the reader understand your points better.
example
You provided a relevant example of Germany's education system which shows your understanding of the topic.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points well, which helps to reinforce your opinions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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