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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the number of visitors to two cities in a given year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the number of visitors to two cities in a given year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to two various tourist attractions:
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
 in the city of Greby
Punctuation problem
, throught
show examples
throught
Correct your spelling
over
 one specific week.
Overall
Linking Words
, at a glance,
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 opting
park
Use synonyms
 more than
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
. Specifically, the
park
Use synonyms
 was dwarfing
museum
Use synonyms
 tourist numbers on Saturday and Sunday. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the
museum
Use synonyms
 and the
park
Use synonyms
 on Monday was approximately similar.
Firstly
Linking Words
, on the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of tourists who visited the
museum
Use synonyms
 on Monday started at approximately 250
visitors
Use synonyms
. Until Thursday, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 decreased to around 180. Again it by Saturday, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 sharply increased reached 400. On the
last
Linking Words
 day, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people decreased by 80, falling to 320.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 the count of tourists who visited the
park
Use synonyms
 on Monday started with 300
visitors
Use synonyms
. By
Wednesday
Punctuation problem
Wednesday,
show examples
 the proportion of tourists
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 fluctuated and again reached 300. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 dramatically increased and reached a peak of 800.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museum, park, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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