IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
At
work
Use synonyms
some
Punctuation problem
, some
show examples
countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
 people spend long
hours
Use synonyms
.
why
Fix capitalization
Why
show examples
 does
this
Linking Words
 happen
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will give some positive and negative
development
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are many
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for some countries spend long
hours
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
. Some
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
provied
Correct your spelling
provide
 long
Use synonyms
hours
Check wording
working hours
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
.
its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the
company
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the manager. They can get
much
Correct word choice
a higher
show examples
 salary
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 long
time
Use synonyms
Check wording
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. They handle big
work
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, that's
show examples
that's
Use the right word
that is
show examples
 why they spend
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; also
show examples
also they
Correct word order
they also
show examples
 know how to
complate
Correct your spelling
complete
 the
work
Use synonyms
 better
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 others. They can gain more respect from the
company
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
happen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
for
Verb problem
happens for
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
 financial
grow
Verb problem
growth and
show examples
 better
development
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 hand, there are many negative
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 long
hours
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
. Some countries need to grow their
country
Use synonyms
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of
the spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
. The
company
Use synonyms
 gives much
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 some
employe
Use the right word
employees
show examples
 get tired
for
Change preposition
after
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 long
time
Use synonyms
. They can not
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
time
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
famliy becouse
Correct your spelling
family because
 of the long
Use synonyms
time
Check wording
working hours
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Company
Correct article usage
The company
show examples
 manager gives more and more
work
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
company
Use synonyms
employe
Use the right word
employees
show examples
 can not
complate
Correct your spelling
complete
 betterly for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 high
Use synonyms
work
Use the right word
workload
show examples
. The
country
Use synonyms
 can not grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on the financial.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
show examples
 there are has negative and positive
Use synonyms
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
.
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 can find positive
development
Use synonyms
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 some people can get
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
salery
Correct your spelling
salary
 for the long
time
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 better
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial
Replace the word
financially
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state the reasons people work long hours and your opinion on the topic. Make sure to include a direct answer to the question.
coherence
Try to divide your points into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea with examples to support it.
cohesion
Use linking words like 'however', 'for example', and 'on the other hand' to connect your ideas better.
grammar and spelling
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes like 'becouse' which should be 'because'.
content
You presented both positive and negative sides of the issue. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
structure
Your conclusion summarizes the points you made, which is a good practice.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: