IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

1.Global warming is now generally agreed to be a very serious problem. What are the causes of global warming and what should governments do to reduce it.

It is indisputable that the problem of global warming has become an international crisis.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
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 the excessive manufacturing of energy;
hence
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, strict regulations should be implemented by governments in order to tackle the situation.
To begin
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 with, the process of manufacturing
fuel
Use synonyms
 releases a high rate of carbon emissions, resulting in
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
 the ozone layer. To elaborate, the role of
this
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 layer is to balance the weather conditions, and by
distrubing
Correct your spelling
disturbing
this
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 balance, the climate will be unpredictable.
For example
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, global warming was the reason behind the sudden heatwaves that hit the United Kingdom, which have negatively impacted their crops.
This
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 emphasises that the responsibility of the ozone layer is vital, as it protects the planet from the adverse radiation
that is
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 directed from the sun.
Accordingly
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, governments' involvement is highly important to avoid exacerbating the situation. To illustrate, establishing a global committee that regulates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel
Use synonyms
 production to reduce its harmful emissions can be effective.
For instance
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, Opic is a global organisation that controls the manufacturing of
fuel
Use synonyms
 by setting an annual limit that the
fuel
Use synonyms
 sector should not exceed.
This
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 policy has assisted in lowering carbon emissions
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a notable rate, which demonstrates the value of
such
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 global cooperation. In conclusion, global warming resulted from haphazard
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
 and
lacking
Wrong verb form
a lack
show examples
 of strict laws in
this
Linking Words
 regard;
therefore
Linking Words
, its impact expanded to a host of nations, which reveals that global collaboration is critical in order to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem and protect our ecosystem.

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task achievement
Improve the explanation of how carbon emissions affect the ozone layer. Clarify your ideas for better understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'finally' to improve the flow between ideas in paragraphs.
task achievement
Add more specific examples related to governments' actions to support your arguments better.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the main ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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