IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages ot this outweigh the disadventages?

In recent years, learning foreign languages has
increanigly
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increasingly
rise
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risen
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, with
majority
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the majority
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 of experts arguing that primary schoolers are the perfect fit to start learning a new
language
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,
others
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while others
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 believe that adolescents at secondary school are a better fit.
While
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this
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 may offer certain professional
disavantages
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disadvantages
, I believe the
beneifits
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benefits
, particularly
to
Change preposition
in
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academical
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academic
show examples
 and personal
matter
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matters
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, outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, gaining a new skill, habit or
language
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 at an early age could lead to increased
intelliagance
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intelligence
 and faster progression. Children who
consistenly
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consistently
 commit more time to their academics may gain a competitive edge, build deeper
knolowage
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knowledge
, and earn scholarships quickly. In high-education countries,
such
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 as the United Kingdom or Saudi
Arabis
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Arabia
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, teaching
foregin
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foreign
 languages begins as soon as students
starts
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start
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 their school
journy
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journey
, which in turn may improve
quality
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the quality
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 of coherence, understanding, and communication.
However
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, these
beniefits
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benefits
 often come at a
highly
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high
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 cost. Adhering to a
forigen
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foreign
language
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 can lead to distraction, burnout, and stress, all of which negatively impact mental and physical health.
Moreover
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,
lack
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a lack
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 of
practicing
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practising
show examples
 the mother
language
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 often creates a distance from the hometown, family, and friends, leading to a decline in
overall
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 life satisfaction. Parents who are not at a
high-level
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high level
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 of education may miss crucial moments in their children's lives if they can not communicate properly, affecting both their own well-being and that of their families. In the long run,
there
Use the right word
their
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 personal issues may negate the gains achieved
though
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through
show examples
 learning a
forigen
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foreign
language
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
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focousing
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focusing
 on gaining new languages can yield long-term personal and emotional drawbacks, the positive consequences on critical skills,
knowleage
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knowledge
 expansion, and higher opportunities are far more serious.
Therefore
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, I believe
this
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 trend has more advantages than disadvantages.

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grammar
Make sure to check spelling and grammar. For example, 'increasingly rise' should be 'increasing'.
structure
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to show the main idea.
examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific programs or statistics.
structure
Your introduction presents both sides of the argument clearly, which is good to show understanding.
structure
You have concluded well, summarizing your position effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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