IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land became less productive. the table shows how these causes affected 3 regions of the world during the 1990 S.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land became less productive. the table shows how these causes affected 3 regions of the world during the 1990 S.
The blend of the pie chart and the table
explain
Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
show examples
 why agricultural lands are less prolific than
what it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 used to be, and
also
Linking Words
 how different continents are affected by each factor during the 1990s.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that
over-gazing
Use the right word
overgrazing
show examples
 was the most prominent reason and it had mostly inflicted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oceania,
while
Linking Words
 Europe was the continent that saw the most harm in terms of total
land
Use synonyms
 degradation. By observing the graphs, it can be noticed that less than one-third of worldwide
land
Use synonyms
 degradation was allocated to deforestation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 had the largest share in Europe by 9.8%. Deforestation had a minor effect on Oceania and North America by 1.7% and 0.2% respectively. In connection with
over-cultivation
Add a comma
over-cultivation,
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 it accounted for 28% of total
land
Use synonyms
 erosion of the world, and the figure for Europe was more than double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that for North America
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 7.7% to 3.3%. Regarding the
over-gazing
Use the right word
over-grazing
show examples
, Oceania, with 11.3, had a role in making it the imperative cause for
land
Use synonyms
 degradation around the globe.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words land with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • agricultural
  • land
  • productive
  • reasons
  • effects
  • regions
  • soil erosion
  • fertilizers
  • climate change
  • droughts
  • floods
  • farming practices
  • crop yields
  • nutrients
  • decreased
  • health
  • traditional
  • methods
  • areas
  • 1990s
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