IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Advertisement it is basically
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the
business
Use synonyms
 to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tempted
Wrong verb form
tempt
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 so they can have more
coustmer
Correct your spelling
customers
. It
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been argued that advertising
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the best method to attract customers,
while
Linking Words
 others think it is an
oboctius
Correct your spelling
obstacle
 which will
be no longer
Correct word order
no longer be
show examples
 attractive to
people
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will go through both views and
including
Replace the word
include
show examples
 my opinion. On the one hand , there are many
people
Use synonyms
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 that any successful
business
Use synonyms
there is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a great advertisement behind it . One of the main reasons that these days all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a really busy schedule and life
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes it difficult to search
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
 or go to the shop.After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the companies get an idea that they can
saves
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 time by doing a
camrcal
Correct your spelling
campaign
.
As a result
Linking Words
, these companies
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 started their
business
Use synonyms
 in
New
Correct article usage
a New
show examples
 way are not only the most successful,but all their clients are satisfied.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , having said
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 we should mention the other arguments
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 claim that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will not be longer gives attention.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is repeated
cmershal
Check wording
apply
show examples
, that all
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
 are
coping
Use the right word
copying
show examples
 each
other's
Check wording
other
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the small
business
Use synonyms
still
Verb problem
is still
show examples
from
Correct word choice
different from
show examples
 the bigger ones.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 will feel bored , unless,
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to make it more complicated and costly
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
do
Check wording
apply
show examples
can not
offered
Verb problem
be offered
show examples
 to make same as the older or the original. Take
china
Fix capitalization
China
show examples
 as an
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 there is a local market where trying to make the same advertisement as the most famous one , they actually win ,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 they had more
people
Use synonyms
 than ever before thanks to the most popular brand. In conclusion,having looked at the topic in
detail
Punctuation problem
detail,
show examples
 it is clear
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 first argument was the most realistic, which
what
Verb problem
is what
show examples
it
Use the right word
is
show examples
happing
Verb problem
happening
show examples
 now
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
: people
show examples
 are
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 things they do not need,but the advertising
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it extremely
betfuil
Correct your spelling
difficult
 and
persuade
Correct subject-verb agreement
persuades
show examples
 as to perches it .

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grammar
Work on your grammar and spelling. Try to use correct forms of words and check your writing for errors.
structure
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss.
examples
Provide more specific examples to explain your ideas clearly. This will help support your arguments better.
content
You introduced both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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