Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is suggested that the punishment for committing major offences should be the same for both
adults
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and young individuals.
This
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essay completely disagrees with
this
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viewpoint because
minors
Use synonyms
might not know that their actions are wrong
and
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, and
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imprisoning them can have a detrimental impact on their development. When it comes to serious charges, teenagers might be too young to recognise offences. Often, young people have little knowledge about the laws, which even some
adults
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might fail to follow.
Therefore
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, they could accidentally commit crimes without any bad intentions.
For example
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, a teenager might injure their peers during a roleplay, thinking that they are fighting the bad guys.
Furthermore
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,
minors
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are inexperienced
so
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, so
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their perception of right and wrong may differ from that of
adults
Use synonyms
. For grown-ups, touching sensitive areas is regarded as sexual assault
but
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, but
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minors
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might consider it to be
of
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apply
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no issue. Without accounting for the young
one’s
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ones’
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unawareness of conventional norms, sentencing them to several years in prison or fining them a large sum of money is obviously unreasonable. Beyond the unsuitability of charging young ones the same as
adults
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, it may
also
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adversely affect their development. Young people have a high nutrient and education demand, which prisons
with
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, with
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their poor-quality meals and
environment
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environment,
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fail to satisfy.
Minors
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might
also
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imitate the
behaviors
Use the right word
behaviours
show examples
of other prisoners, which directly alters their perception. After
minors
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finish serving their sentence, they can
also
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be put at risk of criticism coming from the public, their classmates, or even their families.
While
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I concede that offenders must receive some kind of punishment, severe sentences can be counterproductive.
Therefore
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,
separated
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separate
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laws designed for
minors
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must be developed to ensure that justice is carried out reasonably and limit the potential backlash. In conclusion, imposing the same level of punishment regardless of
ages
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age
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can prove to be unsuitable as it fails to acknowledge the
naiveness
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naivety
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of teenagers and potentially affects their healthy development.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your main points in paragraphs. This helps the reader follow your ideas better.
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Try to add more clear examples to support your main ideas and make them stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure every sentence contributes to your main argument and avoid repetition for better clarity.
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Your introduction clearly presents your opinion on the topic.
task achievement
You provided thoughtful reasons for your viewpoint, showing a good understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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