Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is suggested that the punishment for committing major offences should be the same for both

adults

Use synonyms

and young individuals.

This

Linking Words

essay completely disagrees with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint because

minors

Use synonyms

might not know that their actions are wrong

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

imprisoning them can have a detrimental impact on their development. When it comes to serious charges, teenagers might be too young to recognise offences. Often, young people have little knowledge about the laws, which even some

adults

Use synonyms

might fail to follow.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they could accidentally commit crimes without any bad intentions.

For example

Linking Words

, a teenager might injure their peers during a roleplay, thinking that they are fighting the bad guys.

Furthermore

Linking Words

minors

Use synonyms

are inexperienced

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

their perception of right and wrong may differ from that of

adults

Use synonyms

. For grown-ups, touching sensitive areas is regarded as sexual assault

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

minors

Use synonyms

might consider it to be

Change preposition

apply

show examples

no issue. Without accounting for the young

one’s

Check wording

ones’

show examples

unawareness of conventional norms, sentencing them to several years in prison or fining them a large sum of money is obviously unreasonable. Beyond the unsuitability of charging young ones the same as

adults

Use synonyms

, it may

also

Linking Words

adversely affect their development. Young people have a high nutrient and education demand, which prisons

with

Punctuation problem

, with

show examples

their poor-quality meals and

environment

Punctuation problem

environment,

show examples

fail to satisfy.

Minors

Use synonyms

might

also

Linking Words

imitate the

behaviors

Use the right word

behaviours

show examples

of other prisoners, which directly alters their perception. After

minors

Use synonyms

finish serving their sentence, they can

also

Linking Words

be put at risk of criticism coming from the public, their classmates, or even their families.

While

Linking Words

I concede that offenders must receive some kind of punishment, severe sentences can be counterproductive.

Therefore

Linking Words

separated

Replace the word

separate

show examples

laws designed for

minors

Use synonyms

must be developed to ensure that justice is carried out reasonably and limit the potential backlash. In conclusion, imposing the same level of punishment regardless of

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

can prove to be unsuitable as it fails to acknowledge the

naiveness

Check wording

naivety

show examples

of teenagers and potentially affects their healthy development.

hn7629794

Jul 8, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly separate your main points in paragraphs. This helps the reader follow your ideas better.

task achievement

Try to add more clear examples to support your main ideas and make them stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure every sentence contributes to your main argument and avoid repetition for better clarity.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly presents your opinion on the topic.

task achievement

You provided thoughtful reasons for your viewpoint, showing a good understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

Older people often choose to spend money on themselves (e.g on hoilidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement.Is this a positive or negative development?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.