IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reason for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In recent times, some
students
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 choose to travel or work for a
year
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 before going to university,
while
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 others choose to continue their
studies
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 as soon as they graduate
high
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from high
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 school.
This
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 essay will provide both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 idea, and give my own opinion. One benefit is that they learn things that are not taught in the classroom. By
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 or working, they learn how to build their confidence, how to communicate with different people from various
background
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backgrounds
show examples
 (age, gender, culture).
For example
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, before making a decision about the next step of my
studies
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, as I
dont
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didn't
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 know what to do
next,
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consequently
Rephrase
apply
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I took a gap
year
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. During that
period
Punctuation problem
period,
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 I
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 the opportunity to be a teacher for a
4 years old
Correct your spelling
4-year-old
, from there I found my passion again for learning.
Therefore
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, by having an experience outside of
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
, I can develop myself and my skills before taking the next step
of
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in
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 my
studies
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.
However
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, there
is
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are
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also
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 drawbacks. Taking a long gap
year
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
a lose
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lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
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of movtivations
show examples
movtivations
Correct your spelling
motivation
 in
students
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 and becoming used to earning money, which can make it harder for
students
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 to return to school later on.
For example
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, someone who several years
working
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apply
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may find it difficult to focus on lectures, make assignments,
meet
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and meet
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deadline
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deadlines
show examples
 again.
Additionally
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, they might find several responsibilities by having a full-time job or starting a family, which can make their
studies
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 more difficult. In conclusion,
while
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 there are clear advantages of
students
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 choosing
taking
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to take
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 a time off from
studies
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, to travel and work, the advantages should not be ignored. I believe, having a deadline or timeline for your gap
year
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 would be beneficial, as
students
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 can still explore outside our their
studies
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 but they still have the motivation to return again.

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task achievement
The essay presents both views, but it could be more balanced. Make sure to clearly state your opinion early on and follow it throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas better. Use transition words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to improve flow.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • school leavers
  • real-world experience
  • academic environment
  • personal interests
  • future studies
  • essential life skills
  • independence
  • time management
  • adaptability
  • learn new languages
  • diverse cultures
  • global awareness
  • financial benefits
  • earning money
  • student loans
  • family support
  • emotional and mental health benefits
  • academic pressures
  • burnout
  • increasing motivation
  • networking opportunities
  • personal growth
  • maturity
  • future career prospects
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