IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are lots of discussions about the benefits and drawbacks of the Internet
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 some of the negative opinions say that modern technologies cause many
problems
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Lack of offline communication and strange content for young generations are really critical
problems
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 for the popularity , from my point of view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people became less communicative
due to
Linking Words
 the increasing
time
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 spending by everyone in the Internet. Unfortunately, real-life meetings have changed to discussions in social networks.
For example
Linking Words
, adults are used to spending
time
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 with their friends together,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 like to make phone calls even for small
talks
Fix the agreement mistake
talk
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.
Linking Words
While people
Change preposition
People
show examples
 born after 2000 prefer to spend
time
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 alone with their phones or in online games. Young generations dislike phone calls and adore communication through messengers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, children are amazed by strange and stupid videos on online platforms.
Such
Linking Words
 videos don’t help in developing necessary skills for life , and future adults would have
problems
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 with coping with the easiest activities that we do every day , like cooking or taking care of their pets.
Additionally
Linking Words
, spending
time
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 with a person who uses electronic devices the whole day is a difficult challenge , especially because the person can’t dedicate all their attention to you. I feel uncomfortable and unnecessary in similar situations. Summing up, I fully agree with the statement about the existence of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 created by the Internet.

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task achievement
Expand on your examples to add more detail and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow logically by using clearer linking words.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make your introduction and conclusion more engaging and clear.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
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