IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

n recent years, many skilled professionals such as doctors, engineers, and IT experts have left poorer countries to work in richer countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

In recent years, a growing number of skilled people
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 doctors, engineers and IT
Use synonyms
professionals
Punctuation problem
professionals,
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 have been moving abroad for better
salaries
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 and lifestyles. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the possible problems and solutions of
this
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 trend. One of the main challenges is that poorer countries suffer a loss of valuable talent , which seriously affects important sectors
such
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 as healthcare, education and technology.
For instance
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, there is a serious shortage of doctors in the medical sector in Africa. Doctors and nurses have been moving abroad for better
salaries
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 and facilities.
This
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 makes it harder to give people better services and hinders the country's development. To fix these problems, the government should provide better
salaries
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 and working conditions
for
Change preposition
to
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 encourage
professionals
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 to stay in their own country.
In addition
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 to economic consequences,
this
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 migration causes social challenges for families and communities.
For example
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, many IT
professionals
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 have been moving to other countries for better financial support to leave behind their loved ones, resulting in feelings of loneliness and stress. It reduces family bonding and has a strong effect on their children's health. To address
this
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 problem, the government should make
family
Correct article usage
a family
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 policy, give opportunities for virtual work and train remote workers to develop their skills.
To sum up
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, the migration of skilled
professionals
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 creates both social and economic problems.
However
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,
by
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apply
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providing better
salaries
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 and facilities, strong regulations , and
providing
Verb problem
apply
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appropriate training can reduce these damages and retain their human resources.

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task achievement
Ensure each point is fully developed with clear explanations and details. This will help make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow between ideas by using more linking words and phrases. This will help your essay read more smoothly.
task achievement
You clearly identified the problems caused by skilled migration and provided reasonable solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were present, giving a clear overview of the essay's purpose.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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