IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowdays, more and more people don't wear their national clothes, and the clothes look almost the same all over the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

We are living in the new generation, people now
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unique styles and gorgeous fashion. I believe that,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 the development
among
Change preposition
over
show examples
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 and decades, we still need to keep our
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 clothes and bring
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 up to date
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our daily
.
Check wording
lives.
show examples
 Every country has
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 style of national clothes. Some countries
also
Linking Words
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
ethnicity
Fix the agreement mistake
ethnicities
show examples
, and they have their own traditional clothes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion to guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Provide specific examples of traditional clothes and why they are important to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear transitions between your ideas to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You express a personal belief about the importance of traditional clothes, which is good for engagement.
task achievement
You mention that different countries have different styles, which shows awareness of diverse cultures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultures
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • unity
  • equality
  • traditional
  • occasions
  • cultural identity
  • fashion trends
  • diversity
  • influence
  • styles
  • clothing choices
  • daily wear
What to do next:
Look at other essays: